Birthdays for Beth

Happy Birthday Beth! Toys R Us, I'm through with you and your cancelling my order! New present on its way this week though, I promise! Beerman continues to slog away at the playset. Only two gazillion more screws to put in.

Dawn 'til Dusk

Beerman worked and worked at putting C-man's playset together, and we're still not very far. Poor thing was putting a gazillion pieces together in the heat. I feel like it's my fault for buying the thing. Maybe I can hire it put together? My in-laws are here next weekend, and he's gone the following weekend. At this rate, we'll have a playset in a few months. I finished the latest Harry Potter. Pretty predictable, if you ask me. And what's with Lupin and Tonks? Did anyone care? Now I'm on to another TC Boyle: East and West. And for those still asking the answer to the great Chicken, it's Turkey!

Errands, etc.

Beerman is putting together the playset. C-man continues to try to help. Therefore, my job of the day is to keep C-man so busy with errands that the doesn't remember that he's not helping pick up the drill, move the screwdriver, or slap people with the tape measure. We need groceries, haircuts, new bedsheets, and maybe a trip to the library. Paul Stanley has a heart condition. Who knew a thousand years of touring and substance abuse was bad for your health? Get well, Paul.

Playset, Shmayset

I wanted to get C-man a playset for his birthday. But that's in March. And we had to get the drainage done. Well, it's done, so we went and bought him this, but with the scoop slide. (I couldn't bear paying $500 for the twisty slide, no matter how cool it is.) Now Beerman is putting it together. We came inside, because I didn't think it was appropriate for C-man to learn those words quite yet.

I don't have any fat pants! and other rants

Okay, when my fat pants don't fit, I'm in T-R-O-U-B-L-E. After trying on several pair this morning, I realized it's time to start laying off the enormous amount of crap and start moving a bit more, or I'm going to be shopping Womens before I know it. I've also decided if I get cut from this job, I'm going to become a doctor's secretary. Because I don't know what they do all day, but it sure isn't answer the damn phone or return any messages! It took me 10 full days to get an appointment with this rheumatologist, and it's not for 3 more weeks. What's up with that? A big initiative I've been working on at work launched today to a rousing round of success. Ahhh, yes. India now has a female in charge. I'm not sure what to think when India is more progressive than the US... Oh, and Michael Vick? When there's video of you and your dog killing involvement, nobody is going to believe your not-guilty plea.

We Built This City...

So Beerman informs me tonight that in 7th grade he had to do a jump rope routine to "We Built This City". When I asked what the hell that meant, he said that they played the song, while he did cross-overs, side-to-sides, doubles, and singles. Okay, are you peeing your pants like me? If not, then try this one. As we're going through identifying the countries on a map after bathtime, C-man points and says, "What's that one Mommy?" and I said, "You tell me." He proudly looks at me and says, "Chicken". Can you guess which country he was looking at? Okay, those are about the 2 best things I've heard in ages.

Terrorist Cheese

Only in my great state would we be worried about the terrorist cheese: http://www.todaystmj4.com/news/local/8688447.html

Sick Kids and Bubble Blowing

C-man woke up at 5 a.m. needing to watch Cars. So I got up, turned it on, and went back to bed. Well, not being with Mommy wasn't good, so he crawled back in bed with me. He slept, sweating like a waterfall, until almost 11 a.m. Thankfully, the fever broke. And he's ornery, ordering us around, which means he's totally on the upswing. So far, we've washed the cars, gone to Menards, and blew some bubbles. I'd like to point out the new shoes. The last pair he had we convinced him were "Bob" shoes so he would wear them. Well, he barfed on them Friday, so I made the executive decision to pitch them. So now he has "Lightning" shoes.

Sick Bay

It's a fabulously beautiful weekend, and I'm stuck inside watching Cars. C-man is sick. We went to the farmers market, he got his churro, and immediately said, "I want to go home!" I hope he breaks this fever soon. Even more... I hope I don't get it too!

Friday Funnies

Because I have a barfing kid, and this is just too funny to pass up. Enjoy your weekend. http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/07/20/280529.aspx You can tell that Iran is feeling a little beleaguered these days when there are reports that Tehran may be under attack from rodents! That is what the official Islamic Republic News Agency reported this week, that police had, ahem, "arrested" 14 squirrels on charges of espionage. The rodents were found near the Iranian border, allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices, according to IRNA. When asked to confirm the story, Esmaeel Ahmadi Moghadam, the national police chief, said, "I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information." He declined to give any more details. IRNA said that the squirrels were discovered by intelligence services – but were captured by police officers several weeks ago. 'Are you serious?'The reaction to the report on Tehran’s streets was varied – from disbelief to assigning guilt for the alleged infraction. "No, I had not heard about this, but it does not surprise me, foreign countries are always meddling in Iran," said Hassan Mohmmadi, a fast-food vendor. Mohammadi asked me if I knew where the squirrels were from, and I told him that I didn’t know. Then he came to his own conclusions. "I bet they were British squirrels, they are the most cunning," he replied. Meantime, an independent journalist, Sepher Sopli, was not surprised by the idea that another country would spy on Iran, so much as he was dumbfounded by their methods. "I read this story in the papers and though it was very bizarre; what struck me as odd was that in this age of modern technology, people were relying on squirrels to do their spying," Sopli said. But, the report was still strange enough to surprise. "That's very funny, but you’re not serious are you?" said Soraya Jafari, a student in Tehran. Maybe not a first Espionage not entirely foreign to animals. If true, this would not be the first time animals have been used for military endeavors. During World War II, Allied forces used pigeons to fly vital intelligence out of occupied France. More recently, U.S. Marines stationed in Kuwait trained chickens for a low-tech chemical detection system. It’s also well documented that dolphins have been used to seek out underwater mines.

Scary Stuff, Harry, and the Brewers

So the Sao Paulo airport (Corgonhas) has a 608 yard-long runway. Holy shit! I don't know if I can count the number of times I've flown into that airport. Clearly, from now on, I'm flying into Rio. I don't care if it is more expensive. I guess this is a situation that get what you pay for. So Nike just suspended its Michael Vick line. So soon? Bastards. You had to wait to see if anyone would notice a sick animal torturer before you made your decision? Nike, I'm done with you. Okay, I was done with you before, but now I'm REALLY done with you. EZ Bake Ovens have been recalled AGAIN. Can someone tell me why a lightbulb in plastic needs to be recalled? I'm pretty sure Thomas Edison figured out how to make this work like, forever ago! In case you've been living under a rock, Harry Potter comes out tomorrow night. I think I'll wait until Saturday, after I've slept, to go pick up my copy. And I think the lucky numbers of the day ar 10 - 1, 3 1/2, and #1. The Brewers, the Brewers, they're turnin' up the heat, YEAH!

Is it March?

It's so gloomy, it looks like March out there. This blows. I want to be home eating chocolate ice cream in front of a movie. I'm off-site all day tomorrow for work. It's a manager's business strategy meeting. What about that sounds like a good idea to anyone? When I grow up and run my own show, I'm doing no off-site meetings unless they're someplace cool, like a spa or a bar. At the very least, there has to be drinks! I trained a class today. Somehow, by the end of it, I end up looking like I've been coloring with C-man. My hands are Smurf blue from the flip chart writing. I need to figure out how to avoid that in the future. Enjoy the rest of your week.

Random Crap

You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed. Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

Are You a Dumb American?

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe

But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear.

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

Day of Rest? Surely, You Jest

Whew. What a busy day. Garden store, grocery store, playground, fighting C-man to go down for a nap, weeding the herbs, cooking for the week (well, as much as I can prepare in advance, anyhow)... who called this the day of rest anyhow? Oh, yeah... In other news, America's Got Talent got it all wrong. You put through the flaming stilt walkers and not the red-neck tenors? David Hasselhoff, I'm through with you! Do you hear me? Through with you and your drunken ways! And finally, I finished the book I Don't Know How She Does It, and am on to the Tortilla Curtain and Plum Loving. All worthwhile. However, I've been told T.C. Boyle is amazing, but I didn't quite realize how much until I started reading Tortilla Curtain. Wow... pretty impressive stuff. I can't wait to get to his other stuff. So if you haven't guessed, he is going on my recommend-must-read list. Tomorrow it's back to the grind. Oh goody.

Muffins and Markets and Medicine, Oh My!

It's been a nice day, beautiful weather, although I've got a snotting-sick kid. We went to the farmers market, but the churro guy wasn't there. Luckily we'd already eaten blueberry muffins, so C-man's belly was full. That could've been precarious. He played on the playground a bit, and then needed to come home. He's so miserable, poor thing. I need to get him in for a haircut. We'll see if that happens. Pop quiz! Where was the trench dug in my yard? Awesome, my yard has racing stripes.

Half Day

I had a half-day today. I tried to go to Dinner by Design to make up some meals, but apparently you can't go there without an appointment, despite the fact that there was absolutely NO ONE in the store when I was there. I guess it'd be too much for the woman to let me put some crap together, since they were so busy. The great part of my day was getting a fabulous massage. My back feels soooo much better now. I so love getting a massage. The poopy part of my day was getting called just as I was getting done with my massage to tell me C-man was sick. He's just got a cold (God, please don't let him have my mono), but his eyes are little slits, his nose is snotty, and he's coughing a lot. Poor thing looks so miserable. Enjoy your weekend!

Count the Ways...

...That my day sucked. 1. The cashier at CVS congratulated me on my pregnancy. Note to self: Empire waist shirts are super cute, but old ladies see them and think they are maternity shirts. No longer wear empire waist shirts. 2. 4 giant vials of blood being drawn out of me does not feel good, no matter how many times I've done it in the past 2 months. 3. Having your doctor poke and prod you for the thousandth time while you try not to howl out in pain is not a good way to spend my time. Note to self: Stop going to the damn doctor 4. My VP sent a disparaging e-mail in error to our interns instead of their managers about said interns, and relied on my team to fix her errors. 5. When I got home, I let the dogs outside. When they weren't busting down the door in 30 seconds to get back in, I realized they had popped the gate open and were now purusing the neighborhood at breakneck speed. I then had to go get them. The good things about my day? 1. Beerman brought calzones home for dinner 2. It's almost done

Arks and Appointments

I've decided if I want to quit my job, I could always make some cash being an ark builder. What is it with this rain? This is not a tropical country. Mother Nature is seeming to disagree with me right now, however. I made my next doctor's appointment for Thursday. It's sort of one of those take-a-deep-breath-and-do-it moments. This sucks. I can't say much about it because everyone, my husband at the front of the line, acts like this is such a minor thing... kind of like the flu or something. Um... no. This is why life sucks every morning for the first 2 hours for me. Okay, nuff whinin'.

Drowned Rat

I am a drowned rat. I went outside to go to lunch just as the heavens parted and dumped their wiley ways on my head. So scratch that. I am now dry. And therefore, I am a Chia Pet. Awesome. I also took it upon myself to eat 2 brownies and a Rice Krispie bar. So much for the "My body is my temple" mantra. If this is a temple, I'm treating it like Chuck E Cheese! My teeth hurt I have taken in so much sugar. Ugh. Enjoy your Monday!

Spontaneous Combustion

97 degrees? Um, this is lakeside in Milwaukee. It's not supposed to get this hot. Help me, Al Gore! Since it's been so hot, we've been watching movies. It's my esteemed opinion that an animated film that isn't Pixar is worthless. Nemo and Cars, excellent. Madagascar, Open Season and Everybody's Hero are a waste of time. I can't remember the last time I watched so many bad movies. This is ridiculous. To add to the fun of this heat, my back is completely frozen. Doans, ice, laying down, sitting up, Advil, a trip to Ihop (hey, nothing else was working)... none of it helps. I'm such an old lady. I hope my new orthotics come in this week! Well, off to get C-man new swim trunks since he's just gone through a major growth spurt again. Be cool, Stay cool!

HOTweekend

Wow, it's hot. And my child only wants to play outside. So far, we've gone to the farmers market, played at the playground, gone to Menards, washed both cars, and ridden our bike to the neighbors. Wow. I'm pooped! And now I can add Worst Mother Award to the day -- I just bribed my kid to come inside with a McDonalds apple pie andthe chance to watch Madagascar. I hate people who parent by TV, and here I've gone and done it. We were supposed to go camping on the beach last night to tonight, but Beerman had to work late last night, and yes, it's really steamy hot, so we backed out. Too bad, because that would have been SO much fun. I got my hair cut this morning. It's always a good day when I get my hair cut. The bad part is that she chopped almost 2 inches off... Note to self: don't ask a strict Catholic Mexican woman about her brand new illegitimate bi-racial grandson when she'd only found out last night that her other son is expecting an illegitimate son in 6 months. Tomorrow's supposed to be 97 degrees. I sure am glad we pulled the pool out in exchange for my insanely expensive lumpy backyard. Awesome.

Yippee! The Weekend!

Here's C-man from last weekend's backhoe extravaganza. It seems every 4th of July weekend I'm emptying my bank account for this backhoe. At least C-man loves it.

Wow, am I glad it's the weekend. It's supposed to be hotter than snot this weekend, so that's cool. Enjoy your weekend!

Independence Day

Land of the Free...

2 Thursdays

So I started work today sad that I was stuck with 2 Mondays and this weird day in the middle off. Then I realized... it's not 2 Mondays, it's 2 Thursdays! And then the rest of the day was brilliant. Big diggers came this weekend to do the drainage in the back yard. C-man was thrilled. He keeps asking for the excavator to come back. I told him that maybe next year, when we sock more cash into this horrible project we call our back yard. Our neighbor kid turned 3 this weekend. The fence in our backyard clearly separates the brains and braun of the 'hood. They hired a woman to play guitar while they all sang along in perfect harmony, right after the rented preschool teacher ran the craft table... um, yeah. My kid was the one racing around on his tricycle and jumping off the slide. Other than that, it was a typical weekend at the playgrounds, book store, and farmers market. We were planning on heading to fireworks for the 4th, but axed that when neighbors let them off and C-man started shaking he was so scared. Guess we'll walk in the parade and call it done.