What I'd Flash For

So Small Talk Six! is talking about what 6 things you'd flash for in honor of Mardi Gras. And I immediately thought to myself, "Really, only six?" For those of you who are unaware, when the mood strikes me and the sun is shining, I have absolutely no shame. But then my second thought was, "Wow, but would anyone really enjoy it anymore?" And then I thought, "What the hell, it'd probably be funny. And in this scenario, I get to pick what it's for, so it'd be worth something other than just showing off my own sense of shamelessness." So here are my six wishes, in no particular order: 1. Tuition to Northwestern University for C-man. Or even better, C-man AND me. (Would he just love going to college with his good ol' mom? Hey kid, it's Thursday night, want to go party?) 2. A job that would give me enough both the money and vacation time to be able to spend it. Hell, who am I kidding? I'd do it for a free trip somewhere warm and sunny where I could show them off all day long. 3. A cure for arthritis. Yes, this is incredibly self-serving, but I'd be saving one in five Americans too, so not everything on this list is just for me. Or how about medicine that solves the problems of arthritis without dooming me to a life of certain cancer and infertility? 4. Tell us, Drew... A new car! 5. A team of personal caretakers: yoga instructor, massage therapist, chef, acupuncturist, chiropractor. Hell, how about just the time and money to even go to those people? (And aren't I beautiful in my serene massage scene?)

6. A complete Oprah-style makeover. I'm talking hair, makeup, wardrobe, walking lessons, fat camp, the works. 7. (I know it was supposed to be six, but whatever) A pair someone would want flashed at them!