Ray of sunshine

This week has been a tough one. I've been in so much pain, I have barely been able to function. Which makes me sad and horribly depressed and craving incredible amounts of sugar (I actually opened a can of sweetened condensed milk and took a couple of spoonfuls straight from the can!), which just makes it all worse. I got 2 90 minutes massages on consecutive days to try to get the inflammation to move. Something most people would die for, but actually hurt most of the time I was having it done. And then I actually sat in the church and sobbed before picking C-man up from chess club, because I knew I'd have to somehow make it down the stairs to the school basement to pick him up and then make it up the stairs again pretending to talk happily to the other parents.

So I called my doctor. Because this is total bullshit. I'm 35 years old and the thought of a flight of stairs creates a pit of fear in my stomach so great, I can barely do it. But my doctor is a good one. And he had me come in immediately over lunch. So I went in for yet a new drug. (This is #5 out of the 6 available to me. And the 6th one is crap that hardly anyone uses.) It's still injected into my stomach, but only every other week now.

And it may be a coincidence, but unbelievably, I woke up today with my hands looking almost a normal shade of skin color. And I grabbed C-man's laundry, hauled it downstairs and put it in the washer without a problem. I can move my head around in a circle. I can sit at my desk without wincing in excruciating pain.

I hate to get my hopes up, but I might have finally found something that works...