Wordlessly Winey

Sneaky little pain

I've been feeling very complainy lately, and I really don't like it. The Simponi the rheumatologist put me on this month might as well have been Kool-Aid for all the good it's done me. And as the tendrils of pain increase throughout in my body, creeping into awkward places like my left foot, so fades my lack of focus from the external world. It feels like the buzzing of that sneaky pain is so loud, I can't hear anything else. I hate that. Because beyond it just sucking, I'm to the point that I'm now irritated that I'm irritated with everything. I'm not by nature a very patient person, but I've been way less so lately. Not letting that show at work has been really hard. And not letting it affect me at home has been unfortunately impossible.

And so I need to think of my options. I think I need to try meditation again. Maybe see if I can get into a regular enough habit that it will help the pain management like the studies say it does. I need to switch to tea from so much coffee. And, of course, there is exercise. Hard exercise always helps it. I've always known this, it's just so, well, hard. (At least I have an hour run scheduled in front of the Being Human screen tonight, so that's positive.)

I've got to find a way through this.

Pinewoody goodness

The Dragon (the name changed because when he got there to turn in his name, another kid already had the Green Machine) took 6th place overall, but won 5 of its 6 heats. 6th place got mentioned at the end, so it was a highly positive, tear-free night. Beerman was just happy it worked.

Happy Birthday, Harry!

Today, my puppy turns 11. In true spoiled fashion, we went to the dog park this morning, and then stopped at the dog wash on the way home - not to get a wash, because he got a full groom yesterday, but to buy a sufficient stock of chewies for the rest of the day. He's spent his day in true puppy heaven, happily chewing away since.

C-man has his infamous pinewood derby race tonight. Beerman took the car early to test it as he helped the other leaders set up the track, so I don't have a photo of it yet. But it's the Green Machine, and the weights are buried inside it so as to not make last year's mistake of having them drag on the track.

The fish tank is completely filled with fresh water. I'm not totally sure what's happening, but there's been a lot of plumbing time (when there hasn't been car building time) downstairs. I think they are connected.

I went to see Silver Linings Playbook with some friends last night. It was a great night. We had some wine, giggled a lot, and then watched 90 minutes of Bradley Cooper.

I really need to get out of this style of blogging about randomness and find my voice again. I just haven't felt like it lately - it feels like I'm being split in too many directions lately. This blog is really reflective of that. Just one more thing to put on the to-do list - find voice.

Longing for sun

It's snowing today. Not enough to be able to ski or snowshoe or sled, but at least everything is white, which is a welcomed change from the cold and brown. I son't think I will let another winter go by like this again without taking a long, sunny weekend somewhere, though. We did that last year, and it was so helpful for my disposition. Just the warmth on my skin is so wonderful for the soul.

I'm hoping to get outside a bit this weekend now that it's a livable temperature again. We have to restock our geocache since people have taken stuff and not traded for it. Frustrating, but I'm trying to keep in mind that people are learning how to geocache with ours, and that's at least a good thing.

Tomorrow is C-man's Cub Scout pinewood derby race. Let's all send some good thoughts for the car to be fast!

And with that, enjoy your Friday!

Almost

One of this year's resolutions was to learn how to beekeep. Beerman is a bit puzzled by that, since he's highly allergic, but I just won't do it near him. Anyhow, I have been in touch with the lady who teaches the classes, and it seems they will start in March. Yippee!

This complete lack of sun is killing me. While we have a spring break trip to look forward to, it seems desperately far off. Speaking of that trip, we really need to buy those tickets. I think we're heading to Turkey. Maybe a stop off in France. We'll see how it works out money and schedule-wise.

I bought Frogger for the X-Box last night. I love it. C-man can't figure out why anyone would play such a crappy game.


My back is killing me. I had a massage last night, and it was good like always, except my mind was racing and I just could not calm down. I am going to try to focus on calming my brain down this weekend because the speed of it is killing me.
We have C-man's initial First Eucharist meeting tonight. I'm not quite sure what we are going to do for 2 hours to tell me my kid needs to buy a suit and not chew it visibly, but I'm feeling a lot of songs coming on. We're shooting for having him do it on the May 4th evening mass for anyone who is coming, by the way. Note to self - Figure out invites.

I also have to get C-man's valentines done. I think I've figured out what I'm going to do, I just need to do it. Like a lot of things, I guess.

The fish tank is about a third filled with fresh water. I'm told once it's full, it will run for a few days. Then we'll drain it and do it all over again, but with salt water, once everything is plumbed the way it needs to be. Progress.

Wordless Wednesday: A walk in the park

47 years of bliss

Happy 47 years, Mom and Dad!

At the risk of talking about the weather (which I absolutely hate doing), holy shite it's cold! It's so brutal, the top layer of my hot coffee froze into ice on my way in from my car to the building this morning. Now THAT'S cold!

I ran for an hour last night in front of Being Human. It's doable, but I could really use some more core strength to help me out. Being Human is taking an unexpected turn, and I'm liking it.

Beerman started to put water in the fish tank last night. It's only water, and not salt water, so will need to be removed once we are sure it doesn't leak. But it's tangible progress. We're getting somewhere, people!

I ordered a few dresses from Mod Cloth for the upcoming church auction. I hope one of them works out. A bummer that I'll probably have to go solo, because Beerman will probably be in Poland, but oh well. Such is life. Hopefully they can do double-duty for first communion, too.

I could really use some sun in my life. I think it would change my whole disposition.

Screw you, Alberta, and the clipper you rode in on

Harry got a run and a bath, I scrubbed the bathrooms' grout, Beerman worked on the fish tank, the laundry is done, and I made up my Dr Oz green drink and my cinnamon cashew spread for my apples for my snacks at work for the week. It is so cold, I can't seem to get warm. (Seriously, -35 windchill is inhumane) It's a night for short ribs, red wine, and Downton Abbey, for sure. I really live the high life some days.

Typical

Today was a typical Saturday. Taxi to judo, taxi to the dog park, do some laundry, vacuum the house, and watch a movie. I'm still so tired, that I'm convinced it's the new medication, and that makes me happy we have one more day of rest.

I've waited all week for this

It's Friday. The day I've been waiting all week to come. I'm exhausted. Work has been over the top. And I'm pretty certain this medicine doesn't do a thing for me. So enough with the crap. It's almost the weekend. Well, after my meetings until 5. (Seriously, who schedules meetings until 5 on a Friday?) So here's the good.

• I have a facial scheduled tomorrow. That is amazing.
• Beerman is putting water in the fish tank this weekend. So we'll either see him drunk with happiness or lying on the floor in the fetal position crying (if it leaks). Either way, it'll be a good show.
• C-man has found a true love for reading. Or it's just a love for competition because he gets to "book talk" his latest book each Friday and whoever does the most gets a prize. Either way, I am so happy about it, I don't even care that he still had his lamp on at 9:30 last night.
• Last minute flights to Cancun are under $500. Not that I'm going, but thinking about the sun is really, really nice at least. I'm hoping to get some time in the pool this weekend. It's not sunny, but at least it'll make me think I'm somewhere nice. Until the old man with the hairy back swims past me, but whatever.
• Have I mentioned it's Friday? Oh boy, that is awesome.

Time for fun

I am so glad this work week is almost over. It is time to have some fun.

At least it is halfway done

We have no snow. I really have not taken many photos lately. I've got to get on that.

This week has been so long. The cold is awful, I don't think he medicine is doing anything, and the miserable overpacked workweek are just making it a big drag. I so struggle with waking up and only wanting the week to pass, though. Because what am I hoping for? For life to pass me by? To not enjoy what I have today? That doesn't seem quite right either. A friend recently said she is 'choosing joy' because things have been so rough. I like that thought. The simple fact that I have no photos to show for the recent days proves I haven't been choosing joy.

Time to get on that. And working out. And smiling more. I need some joy, damnit.

Another week of not being independently wealthy

• I totally missed Downton Abbey last night. Dangit! I have Netflix, Hulu Plus and HBO Go, but the only way to get a free PBS show is via iTunes. Illegal streaming it is.
• The season premiere of Being Human starts tonight. Since we can't stream it, I need to go to the gym. Double win.
• In non-TV-related news, I started on a new toxic coctkail medicine today - Simponi. We'll see if this one does anything miraculous. I'm not counting on it.
• Friends were bragging about how delicious the Dr. Oz green drink is, so I went and got all the ingredients and made it. Healthy, yes. Everyone who walks by my desk makes an "Ew" or equivalent thereof. Kind of how I feel about it too.
• I maxed out my FSA plan last year, because I was on medication that was $5000 a month. Then I went down to a medication that cost $5 a month. I was all mad that I was leaving so much in there. And then I remembered - acupuncture gets reimbursed. Score! Between that and C-man's speech therapy, we won't be in horrible shape with it.
• C-man has his first play practice today. It's a musical, so I doubt he'll get a role. But that's okay. He's really excited about being involved. After all, what's better than a children's musical about space?

Family fun

Yesterday, we got to see Kate play some basketball, and C-man got to run around a high school with his cousins. Is there a better way to spend a day? Oh yeah, well, at least the Marquette men won.

Taking steps

I have really not been taking very good care of myself lately. My eating is okay, but could improve dramatically. And I haven't been exercising nearly enough. Which is kind of ridiculous, because those are such simple things to do and they create such dramatic results in how I feel. I need to make a plan and stick to it. Or more to the point, I just need to get up earlier to do it before I've had all day to think about how crummy I feel. I don't know why the intertia is so difficult about this. Maybe after I get a new medicine next week it'll be better... Even if it isn't, I need to do something. Time to make a plan.

More bullets

• I really need to take some new pictures if I am resorting to photos I never shared from Japan!
• Work has reversed from suck to blow lately. (Spaceballs fans anyone?) Lots of work, and I have a feeling it is going to be for nothing. I would like to be independently wealthy please.
• C-man has speech and judo tonight. Since Beerman is in Chicago, I am just hoping I get dinner before 10 pm.
• Beerman confirmed he is going to Poland next month. Without me. Argh! Shake fists at the sky! How am I supposed to finish my death march tour without a trip to Poland?
• I conquered Kingdom for Keflings in under a week. And that is why I cannot be allowed to play building type video games. I obsess until I end it.
• Tomorrow is Friday. Sweet Jesus that is awesome.

Randomly So

• I went to the rheumatologist today. He didn't get nearly as mad at me as I thought he would for pulling myself off everything. In fact, he was fine with it - happier still that I'd gotten myself off the prednisone. So now I go back in on Monday post-a gazillion vials of bloodwork to start on medication #6. I don't remember the saying being "Sixth time's the charm", but whatever.
• Before the doctor, I went to have breakfast with a friend. While driving down the lake, there was the most beautiful sunrise. When I used to do bootcamp, I saw that every day, and it was amazing. It almost makes me want to go back. Oh, the problem with inertia really is getting started, isn't it.
• The plant nursery sent me all the stuff for this year's school plant sale fundraiser. I can't believe it's getting to be that time already.
• Beerman got a Lindt chili dark chocolate bar from St. Nick. He hasn't eaten it all, and yet, it mysteriously disappeared while I worked from home today. I hate when that happens.

Broken

There are no words to describe the pain I have been in the past three days. At night, I take a Vicodin just so I can stand to be alive. I have been off my arthritis medication in the hopes of keeping my immune system strong, because so many idiots don't stay home when they are sick. (I have never understood that. People actually come and spread their germs around to others simply because it would inconvenience them in some way. If you are sick, stay home!)

We couldn't watch Notre Dame last night because we don't have ESPN. All the well. It would have made me ill to watch the SEC roll over them. Totally expected, but still barf.

C-man had judo last night. Man, he loves judo. H was also quite thrilled that the author of the Origami Yoda series commented on the blog for him. Won't that be a bragging right at this week's book talk in class!

I am ornery. The pain coupled with lack of sleep from the pain is annoying. I have a massage tomorrow night. Here's hoping it helps.

We three kings read Origami Yoda

I haven't taken any photos this week. I don't know why, but just don't feel it. Harry and I have had a lot of park time together, and I felt more like walking than photographing anything. So there you have it: pre-haircut C-man shots.

So many people are sick around me, coughing and throwing up and everything else unmentionable, that I have pulled myself off the drugs in the hope that keeping my immune system awake will help me stay away from it all. (I am sure my rheumatologist will be thrilled with my decision made without him, but whatever - it's my body) But in doing so, it means I am feeling the full weight of the arthritis. Decidedly unfun.

C-man discovered the Origami Yoda series, and got a book light for Christmas. The combination has turned him into a bonafide reader. Hallelujah!  I never thought this day would come, and now we have to tell him to stop reading and go to bed. I think he has had a cognitive jump recently, too, which would also explain the voracious appetite. Whatever it is, I am thankful.

Today is epiphany. During which C-man informed us that there is nothing in the bible saying there were three kings. (Probably a king and an enterougue  is more like it!) I am glad he teaches me what I am supposed to know about this stuff. I am such a crappy Catholic.

Downton Abbey starts tonight again. I am so thrilled I can hardly stand it. (That is the nerd alarm going off)

I bought red velvet cupcakes for dinner. I am not even going to food journal it. Suck it, Weight Watchers!

Weekendy goodness

The house is picked up, the toilets are scrubbed, Madden 13 has been played, Harry is dog parked, C-man had been to judo, my Marquette flag is flying, the groceries are put away, the black beans for chili are soaking, and Beerman is installing a manifold in the fish tank (I don't understand that last one either). Now I am going to sit on my hot pack for my aching back and read a book. I love weekends.

Bring it, weekend!

All day teaching a class of adults and a Cub Scout den meeting after work. I may have to rethink my green tea detoxification of all the new year's booze I drank.

Tomorrow is Friday

Today, I'm really thankful that tomorrow is Friday. That is all.

Working Wednesday

• Oh goody. We're back to work. Not even Harry was interested in getting up. Thank God it's only a 3-day work week.
• I scheduled a massage tonight as my reward for getting through the day. Well that, and my fingers are giant summer sausages.
• Hopefully it'll help me get ready to stand on my feet and teach an 8 hour class on Friday. I am really not looking forward to that.
• C-man has speech over his judo class time tomorrow. He is not going to like missing judo. I'm going to have to see if we can move speech to another day.
• The Fiscal Cliff talk sure was a whole lot of nothing. And here I was expecting a whole week of political rambling and ranting. I feel totally cheated.
• Is it naptime yet?

Happy 2013!

There were lots of kids

And best of friends

Champagne for all

Fun fireworks to watch

And countdowns and kisses to be shared

Happy New Year everyone!