I broke down and got an appointment with a chronic pain specialist. I use the term 'broke down' intentionally, because it truly feels that way. Like there's no other option anymore and I'm physically at my most broken down point. But I'm going to try someone new because as smart as the rheumatologist I was seeing is, I just don't feel like I can go back to him just to have him throw toxic drugs at a dartboard and hope one sticks. Especially since I'm the dartboard. And especially since I don't think he was looking at the big picture. I'm convinced something has been missed in the equation that is me. It has to have been.
But truthfully, I don't have hope for much working anymore, and it's really weighing heavily on me. Before it gets too hopeless, I feel like I need to try something else. And so, this is it. Here goes nothing.
In the meantime, the A's have a game tonight. It's one of those years when you pray they just don't get slaughtered.
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