Happy New Years Eve!

I had my first date with Beerman 7 years ago today. Wow, lots has changed in 7 years. He's getting high on epoxy fumes (re-painting tile in the bathroom) and I'm in an old pair of his jeans watching C-man terrorize the dogs. I realized yesterday when I got the mail that C-man's daycare is closed on Tuesday. Why in the hell would they be closed on the 2nd?!? Anyhow, now I'm scrambling. Our usual babysitter can do the afternoon. She just e-mailed me saying her 26 year old social work sister can do the morning. Apparently she works at MPS and they don't start school until the 3rd. I've never met the girl, but like her sister a lot, and am desperate. So welcome to our home! Since we couldn't get a sitter for the night, we're having crab cakes, steak, and Talledega Nights. Wow, lots can change in 7 years.

I Just Ate My Bonus

I ran a bunch of errands this morning. Geocaching, library, bank, etc. Most importantly, I sent in our last daycare payment for reimbursement for the flexible spending account. I hate that use-it-or-lose it crap, but what can you do - $600 is $600. Then I got home, put C-man in bed (he fell asleep at the bank), sat down at the table, and took my sweet ol' time and ate my holiday bonus. That's right, boys and girls, I got a chocolate-covered caramel apple as my holiday bonus. Oh my God, corporate America sucks. On another important note, Beerman and I met 7 years ago today.

Caching and more caching

I found this one and this one. Couldn't find this one -- there was too much trash in the area. Beerman is painting the tile in our bathroom. I'm a bit nervous, but if it doesn't work out, it means I get new tile. So I guess I can't lose anything but time. Off to do some errands. Enjoy your weekend!

4 Day Weekend!

Woo hoo! Don't have to work until Tuesday. I love time off. I took it upon myself to be the off-site lunch coordinator today. The poor saps (me included) never leave that joint to eat. So we went to Su Casa II in Sussex. Let me spare you the visit - don't go. Refried beans from a can, crappy ambiance, and the server told us the difference between the fajitas and the sizzling fajitas was the price. I'm off to geocache tomorrow. Wahoo!

Back to Work Wednesday

I want to start eating better, so what do I do this morning, but go through McDonalds drive-thru. As my past history tells me, this is a bad decision. But, I decided to order the orange juice instead of coffee, at least making one sound decision. And then I get to the window. And the guy hands me a large coffee. My caffeine-deprived body almost went into convulsions. I took it and screeched out of the parking lot, laughing maniacally. "Ha-ha-ha! I've got caffeine." But because I got the coffee, I also got the wrong breakfast. I ate it anyhow, which was a bad move. Guess the joke's on my hurting intestines now. Christmas has officially overstimulated C-man. Last night he wouldn't sleep between the hours of 12:30 a.m. and 4 a.m. because he wanted to "Crawl in fort!" and "Watch Bob Builder!" and "Bounce in castle" and "Big Scoop". Whew... I'm looking rough today. Between the lack of sleep and too much sugar, my face looks like I'm 14 years old. And finally, goodbye Mr. 38th. Your pardon was disgraceful, WIN was a flop, but president you were. So goodbye.

Successful Caching

We went geocaching as Team Rysewyk this afternoon. I got this one, this one, and this one. This could get addicting. Beerman is the driver, I'm the searcher, and C-man yells "Muggles" if someone is approaching. Good times.

Happy Boxing Day!

It's the day-after post-Christmas letdown day. Otherwise known in the rest of the world as Boxing Day. After grandma and grandpa left, we took a trip to the dogpark for H-bones and R-dog. I'm pretty tired after "sleeping" on an air mattress last night. Whew, I usually do better than that. Christmas was nice. My in-laws were here on the 24th and got some quality time with C-man. They're rarely (never) here, so it was nice to have some time together. They enjoyed C-man's antics. My parents came last night for dinner and the night and got to play "fort" and "Bob the Builder". They left this morning for snowbirdville in Florida. So the plans for today are: play with toys, geocache a bit (I have 3 scouted out, and just have to locate the actual cache), watch a little "Bob the Builder", get a new showerhead (Beerman's been working on our never-ending bathroom project and suggested we get one of those multi-head showerheads - woo hoo!), eat some leftover turkey, and nap. For those of you actually boxing things up today, enjoy!

Santa Claus is Coming to Town...

Here he comes... it's your last chance to be nice! Oh, screw it. Be happy, healthy, and merry. If Santa doesn't appreciate that, then phewy on him. My in-laws are coming today. Parents tomorrow. Let the merriment begin.

Ironies

I bought a pack of scissors today because I can never find mine, and when I do, they're dull. When I got them home, I realized that they were sealed in such a way to need scissors to open them. I took a bottle of insanely expensive French wine to my former boss for Christmas. I took it over about 5 hours before she boarded a plane to Paris. While shopping at our hardware store, we heard an old guy employee complaining about the Muslims of the world, and how there won't be peace until "they're all dead." Okay, that one's not ironic, just so incredibly stupid that I had to include it. I won't be shopping there again. It's the final craa-zy night of Hanaukkah. If that's your holiday, enjoy. My in-laws come tomorrow to celebrate Christmas. I still can't believe they're not staying overnight, but that's their choice. My parents come Christmas night as their springboard to a winter in Florida. So it's looking to be family-filled for the next few days. Enjoy your holidays! Here's hoping you get all you asked for. And if not, then go buy it yourself.

Wet, Wetter and Wettest

I left the house to go in search of my very first geocache find with my brand new GPS. I figured out the coordinates, and then realized I had to walk across a soaking wet soccer field. Upon walking across the soccer field, I realized that it was completely covered in goose shit. Lovely. At least the rain washed my shoes clean. On the bright side, I located my very first cache! Woo-hoo! I took a sticker and didn't leave anything behind because I didn't have anything small enough to leave. When I got home, I removed my wet shoes, and went in the basement to do some laundry while I wrapped presents. I should have left my shoes on because the basement is totally flooded - a veritable river rushing over my feet. I just spent an hour mopping it up. I'll be doing the wet laundry all day. Ugh... who would have thought we'd have to deal with a flooded basement the week of Christmas?! Anyone want to get us a new sump pump for Christmas?

I've Got the Day Off!

Happy Friday!

Coordinates

I finally figured out today, no thanks to the useless frickin' manual, how to locate coordinates on my gps. Wahoo! I'm off work tomorrow, so guess what I'm doing. It still doesn't let me set future coordinates, which is a big bummer. It still keeps trying to "burn in" and failing. Anyone know what that means? I just keep pushing buttons trying to figure it out. Useless technical writers... I don't have to go back to work until Wednesday. But we went from having a quiet time at home to a house full for my days off, so I'm going to enjoy my tomorrow with just me and the dogs. I only have 2 gifts left to buy, and they're not "due" until January. So I'm good there. Yippee!

Thoughtful Tuesday

Only a few days until Christmas. C-man knows that Jesus says, "I love you". I've got a great family, a house, 2 dogs, a healthy body, and lots of crap - more than I need. And I've got Friday off. Guess life is pretty good.

DTE 0

Thursday night I had a nightmare. I was driving in my car, and the DTE (distance 'till empty) was at 1. Friday afternoon I was late to meet our photographer (your holiday card should have been in your box today). I was not quite there, and the DTE was 2. I ran on 0 for a couple of miles until I could get to the gas station. For those of you who don't know me well, this was a nightmare. Today was one of those DTE 0 days... I got to work, pulled in my parking spot, and the guy next to me opens his door wide... smashing into the side of me. I actually felt the whiplash. Good thing his crappy Corolla is no match for my bitchin' van. Then I got to work, went to turn on my computer, and realized I had left it at home. I had meetings until 11, so left after that. But by that point, I was frazzled. Every meeting running late, and then racing 20 mph above the speed limit to get to C-man's daycare by 6 p.m. Whew... glad to be home.

Weekend Wrapup

Saturday we went to Stevens Point for my family's Christmas gathering. Way too much food, and good conversation. It's always good to see the niece and nephews... the loot wasn't bad either. I got a GPS, gloves, and bird bath. C-man got a train set, Sesame Stree tool belt, some trucks, a DVD, and I know something else, but it's alluding me right now. Beerman had his birthday celebration plus Christmas, so ended up with loads of good stuff: hot sauce, crock pot, MP3 player, and a power washer. The best line of the weekend was from my nephew who was playing a video game: "Pussy Puss-nuts, eat my dirt!" After that, we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house for some good cheer. We came back today. We're exhausted and grumpy. 3 days off, and I need 3 more. Maybe I could tell my boss to "Eat my dirt!" without the pussy puss-nuts part... Then again, maybe not.

Wrapping the day away

Beerman and I are home today. We're finishing up Christmas shopping, and I'm wrapping it all. Holy crap, that's a lot of work just so someone can rip it. How annoying. Good news, besides being off today, is that I get my holiday cards at 2 p.m. Look in your mailbox for the family picture! And just a warning, it's not stellar like years past, but makes us laugh, which is why we went with it. Tomorrow's holiday with the Pelot's in Point. Good times.

I'm Lovin' It

On my way to work, I was so hungry I went through the drive-thru at the Golden Arches. Had a sausage biscuit and that new and improved coffee that I'm pretty sure tastes just like dirt. This was the first of several bad decisions of the day. The good news is that the photographer posted our photos online from our session last week. The bad news is, we can now select from the shot of Rileydog licking himself or me with my eyes closed. All in all, I'd say they're all perfect for the Brew Family Christmas card. Now I've just got to get them printed and sent out. I've got Friday off work. I'm so excited to get some sleep and finish my Christmas shopping. Woo-hoo!

Living Healthier

I keep telling myself that I've got to live healthier. Eat better, exercise more, brush my teeth after every meal, not get stressed out about small things, not worry about Christmas card pictures that never come so my cards won't get out until the end of December (damn that photographer!)... So today I ate 3 brownies instead of 4. I figured I can't do them all. I've received a few Christmas letters this year. And it got me to thinking - why would someone subject you to that? And it dawned on me - these are not people I speak to regularly. Yet because it's Christmas, these relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc. feel it's okay to send me an entire letter detailing their lives over the past year. So my question is, if you haven't felt it important enough to speak to me over the past year and tell me these things, why on earth would I want to read a letter detailing the little known facts about your life just because it's Christmas? It's the birth of Jesus, not a time to blabber on about stuff you haven't felt relevant enough the past 11 1/2 months. After all, I've got enough on my plate just dealing with paragraph one.

Pet Peeves of the Holidays

1. People who send cards and have an apostrophe on their name. For example "The Smith's". The Smith's what? The Smith's card? A little lesson - an apostrophe announces ownership or posession. Please, for the love of God, do not include an apostrophe in your name if you send me a card. I just can't post it on my wall if it's grammatically incorrect. 2. Photographers who take your picture for a Christmas card, and then go MIA. Do not tell me you'll take my picture, do just that, and then ignore me for a week. It's the 10th of December, for God's sake, and I haven't even seen our photo yet, let alone gotten it printed and mailed. UGH! At this rate, I'm going to end up with New Years cards... for 2008! 3. Headaches that won't go away. I actually had a nose bleed on the massage table yesterday morning. I was so embarassed.

TGIF!!!

I love Friday. Beerman sent me an e-mail this morning telling me I've got a massage at 10:15 tomorrow morning. Oh, my God... I am so excited, I can hardly stand it. And this is crass, but makes me laugh hard...

Thursday Thinkin'

My head hurts - take 4. 4 damn days of a headache. At least my right eye isn't bright red anymore. I've been pretty miserable.

Happy St. Nick's!

So there was a session on work-life balance at work today. In my 1-hour session, I learned that I shouldn't do anything, but instead hire it all to be done for me. And when I'm in the poor-house and can't pay my electric bill, I'll be sure to call that class facilitator and let her know. One tip was actually to get into transcendental meditation. Sure, I'll sit on the floor and meditate while C-man jumps on top of my with Muck and Roley singing, "Bob Builder - Fix it!" I live on Rexleigh Drive, not Walden Pond, lady. St. Nick came and was very good to me... jammies from Ann Taylor - Loft. Love that. The other notable thing about today is that it's December 6th, and every single piece of my Advent chocolate has gone to C-man. He gets so excited when it's time for his "TREAT!" that I can't deny him. Damnit.

Mission Accomplished

I finished my 52nd book last night - Three Dog Life. It's not on my recommended list unless you want to be bored and depressed. I finished my 53rd book today - The Constant Princess. It's by Philipa Gregory and about Catherine of Aragon, married to Henry VIII. I like the Philipa Gregory stuff and would recommend it if you're into that genre. We've been watching the Sopranos - 6th season. Man, that season sucks. So disappointing. We've been getting a few Christmas cards here and there. It makes me sad because I don't have mine yet. We only got the photo taken Sunday, and I haven't even seen them yet. Poop. I hate being this late. My right eye is red, irritated and really gross looking. How do you know if it's pink eye? I've never had it. It hurts like hell though. St. Nick comes tonight. C-man is getting more in the Bob the Builder hand-sized trucks. He didn't have Muck or Roley yet. In other advancements, he can now sing the theme song. I haven't decided if that's good or bad yet... Hope St. Nick brings you all you wish for!

Blogs and Knitting -- Oh Crap!

So I've got a blog. And I'm teaching myself to knit. Shit. I'm one PETA membership from being absolutely ridiculous. Thank God I ate some good rare red meat this weekend. There will be no pretend-vegetarianism from this girl. At least I'm safe on that front. I'll probably die of a heart attack before I'm 35, but whatever. And to be clear, the knitting is because a bunch of people do it at work. Since I'm so new, I figured I could make some friends if I could eat and at least pretend to knit. And who knows, maybe I'll like it and make something useful. I hope I'm better at it than I was at pottery! We had our 007-themed progressive party this weekend. I don't know what was best - the stiff martinis, the 007 theme, the fact that we had a babysitter for the night, or that the houses were so enormous, I couldn't afford the taxes let alone to buy one. Great night. When we bought our dining room table, we spent an extra $40 to get the wood protection plan. After 3 years, I called it in, and had the guy come today. He's at the house now. At first I thought I would get sick from the smell of his cheap cologne. But at this point, it was marvelous compared to the crap he's spraying around now to fix the table. Whew! The poor bastard is starting to sing... I'm pretty sure he's high from the fumes.

Friday Snow

Poor Mexican president. He rigs an election, makes a democratic nation angry, and now is whining that he doesn't have the support of the people on his innaguration. If he suggests invading Venezuela because of their oil, I'm going to be frightened. It's December 1st. For most people, they see that as the first day of December. Or even of Advent. I, however, see it as the first piece of chocolate in my little calendar. Yum. Since it is December 1st, it's also World AIDS day. While in Botswana, we were told that the interior villages had rates of 70% of the population infected with HIV/AIDS. It's almost unfathomable. So if you can unbury yourself from this snow dump, wear your red. Speaking of the snow, I got to leave work at 1 today. Beautiful. Only one more day until the James Bond party...

Lights, Cold, and Ghetto

We went to the lights show at Miller. The lights were cool. But by the time they drew out the presentation which no one could hear for 45 minutes (and does anyone care what the Mayor and County Executive have to say anyhow?), no one cared about anything other than getting inside and warming up. Once the food tents did open, there was so much shoving, pushing, and ghetto crap that it just ended up being not much fun. At least there was a scoop next to one of the buildings for C-man to get all excited about. Beerman stayed home today from work to finish up the bathroom that's been in shambles and unusable for almost 2 years. Today he pulled apart the snowblower and put it back together, called landscapers, and had tree guys come for estimates. I'm never going to have a bathroom. Tomorrow's Friday. Woo-hoo! Jeans day at work. And only 1 more day until our James Bond themed progressive dinner party and a babysitter. I'm giddy with excitement.

Gifts, gifts, gifts

Just like Santa, I'm working through my list. I'm realizing that I've given all my great ideas away to other people. Damnit! I think I've got Beerman's birthday gift set. Now I just need Christmas. I've been trying to pin him down to something, but he's been pretty noncommittal. Hrmph. Tomorrow we're going to Miller's light ceremony. True to form, it's supposed to be colder than Saskatoon in January. Last year it was below zero, and we bundled C-man up and still went. We were miserable. I hope tomorrow isn't that bad, because it's always a nice event. Tomorrow is also the last day of November. That means only one more day until I can break into the chocolate Advent calendar!

Goals

2007 is fast approaching. And despite not yet having a babysitter (working hard on that one though), I have begun to think about my 2007 goals. The 2006 initiative was 52 books in 52 weeks. I should have that one accomplished by the end of the week, plus get a few more done by the end of the year. I'm over-achieving a bit, which is nice. I'm reading the Constant Princess by Philipa Gregory. I like her other stuff. So far so good. I'm almost done with Three Dog Life. Pretty sad, but well done. So back to the question... What to do in 2007? If you've got a reasonable idea for my personal enrichment, leave me a line. C-man's still sick. I took him to school today, and he didn't even wake up. Changed him, dressed him, put his coat and shoes on... still sleeping. Pretty amazing how he can't sleep all night, but then can't wake up once it's time to. Beerman tried to help last night, but no dice when C-man cried, "MOMMY!" I need to take a day off just to catch up.

Barks and Snot Noses

C-man was up between 2 and 4 this morning barking like a seal. Poor little man has a cold, and so of course, gets a croupy cough. I pulled him into bed, since he crawled out of his own bed, and then he proceeded to crawl on top of me and flop like a fish for 2 hours. To say I'm beat is a bit of an understatement. He's a bit better tonight - after a 3 1/2 hour nap at school today! The Pack is on tonight. I hate to be a pessimist, but it is my nature... On an optimistic front - C-man's sweater arrived, and I think I've settled on a "look" for our Christmas photo on Sunday. I'm still a bit bummed that we're getting it out so late this year, but whatever. That's life with a kid, 2 dogs, and a husband.

Christmas Gifts

Well, I've got most of the kids I have to buy for done. Now it's the adults I have to worry about. It's amazing how everyone wants your specific list, but then when you ask them they say, "I don't know." or give you some lame idea that they wouldn't even buy themselves. Hrmph. Not that I'm into buying specific things that people ask for, but a general "These days I'm kind of getting into..." would sure be helpful. My husband is one of the worst, by the way. I've given away all the good ideas for him, and now I'm left with birthday AND Christmas. Maybe he'll get something from me that I want! :-) So far, the most ridiculous gift I've seen goes to redenvelope with an underwater MP3 player. What, in case I want to swim to tunes? I hope they work... can you imagine the shock if they didn't?

It's Only Saturday

Whew, it's only Saturday. I love the extra days off. I have 3 days to burn before the end of the year. 1 will have to be for our trip to Chippewa Falls. I need to place the other two strategically to maximize my sleep time. Beerman and I ended up going back out in the rat-race yesterday morning around 9-ish. He bought a cordless drill at Sears on sale for $39.99. Since he had a $40 gift card from my parents from his birthday last year, he ended up paying about $2.50 for a $90 drill. He was thrilled. We also went to Toys R Us and got a 7" portable DVD player for C-man. It wasn't the 9" one from Kohl's that I wanted, but those were sold out by 5:05 a.m. So the rat race sort of paid off. From here on out, I'm doing mostly online shopping. Notre Dame plays USC at 7 tonight. C-man woke up saying "Football!" While I've nurtured it, he has an innate love for the game. When he's bored, he brings us the remote and says, "GO!" "Football!" Gotta love that kid.

Friday Foolery

Go Notre Dame!

Black Friday Nightmare

Can someone explain why you go out in this mess? I went out to my favorite department store retailer at 6 a.m., because they supposedly had a 9" DVD for $39.99. With my discount, that would put it closer to $30. The Store Manager informed me they got about 10, and 2 women bought them all at 5 a.m. Nothing else seemed any cheaper than normal. So what's the point? Went to Coleman for Turkey Day. It was good to see everyone, albeit the small crowd. C-man had fun chasing cats as usual. Dinner was later than usual, which made for a late return. Kind of tough. I'm going back to bed.

What I'm Thankful For...

In no particular order, and not all-encompassing (but things I could think of right now):

• A son who is playing with the mops right now
• A husband who is lying in bed on a heating pad with a painful back because he slept on the floor in C-man's room so I could get a full night of sleep
• 2 smelly dogs who want nothing more than to tell me how much they love me
• A healthy family
• Scoop and Benny - they give me a couple of minutes to myself
• A job that pays me more than the median annual salary for a family of 4
• Receiving more love than I could ever give out
• Foot orthotics
• Books
• Warm Ovaltine
• Long weekends
• Having found a daycare C-man loves
• New glasses
• Mornings
• Hiking outside
• Morningstar Farms - without it C-man wouldn't eat
• Having had the opportunity to go to so many countries
• Being able to wear boots again
• C-man's giggles

It's the Weekend!

It's the weekend. Well, sort of. I got off work at noon today. I've been cleaning a bit, got another Christmas gift bought (gifts are really stressing me out this year), and am going to read a book. I was thinking of getting C-man from school, but he's napping, so it wouldn't make much sense. We're going to Grandma Lou's tomorrow for turkey. That's a lot of time in the car. I think we need to get a portable DVD player for C-man for the next trip, because it'll be a long one. Well, off to clean up the stinky kitchen. Enjoy your Thanskgiving.

All I want for Christmas

Since an airline ticket to somewhere warm while someone takes care of C-man isn't realistic, my real wish list this year includes: carpet cleaning (or new flooring!), an organized house, a basement I don't have to wade through, all the laundry folded and put away, a fridge full of food I didn't need to shop for, a college fund funded for Caleb, a holiday I don't have to get in a car to travel for several hours to get to in order to "enjoy", and being able to go to the bathroom without a child and 2 dogs barging in on me to see what I'm doing. Bah-humbug. I want airline tickets to somewhere fun.

If you couldn't already tell, I'm beyond exhausted. The thought of these holidays is doing nothing but stressing me out. If I get pulled in one more direction, or hear one more bitch, I'm going to break.

Headache, headache, go away for another day!

My head has been pounding for the last few days. I know it's allergies, but it doesn't help the pain any. Yesterday, I successfully spilled a large latte (which I had been so looking forward to after fighting the mall crowd) all over the car, ordered a Hawaiian pizza - not with pineapple but pepperoni, and had zero patience with C-man. It was horrible. I've been so scatter-brained, and nothing seems to help. But at least I've got a stinky latte-smelling car to show for it. I've been trying to get our family Christmas picture taken. Our old place shut down, and nobody seems to want to photograph a child and 2 oversized stinky dogs. Go figure. I've got a line on one lady, but she can't get us in for a bit. So I won't make my December 1st deadline, but whatever. With this headache, just getting something crossed off my list feels like an accomplishment. I did find the clothes for us to wear, which was a bonus. Speaking of lists - I need gloves. Rileydog has successfully eaten every pair I've ever owned. So if anyone needs a gift for me - I need gloves! I need a winter coat to go with those gloves, but that's a different issue. In another mini-rant, I hate the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel. I renewed our subscription, only to have them lose it. In one of the umpteen calls, they said they found it, and we were clear. Well, we're not getting a damn paper any longer. When I go online to renew, it gives me an error message: "Sorry, our subscription service is unable to process your request at this time." Today I held for 34 minutes, and still didn't get a live person on the phone. Guess they don't want my subscription. Grrr!! I've also discovered why I hate my trail mix so much. Beerman has been rifling through and eating the M&Ms, and C-man has been rifling through and eating the raisins. So I'm left with some chintzy peanuts. Bleh!

A good day

I was all excited this morning, decoding my geocache clues, writing everything down, and getting the whole family ready (no small feat). When we got to the Audubon Center, they told me that they don't lend out their gps units. Um, let me quote from their website: The center has units for you to borrow with your driver’s license, or bring your own GPS unit to get more familiar with it. Clearly, I misunderstood, since that was so unclear... grr... On our way out, Beerman said, "If we didn't see a deer hunting, Grandpa would drive around until we saw one. And then he'd say it was a good day." Just then, we drove past a couple of deer. Guess it was a good day. The great thing about my day was my 2-hour nap. I. Love. Naps. When I woke up, I watched football. It got even better (you know it's good after a 2-hour nap and some college football!) are the bbq ribs Beerman made for dinner. Now I had to eat kale with that (after I flunked my blood donation test due to anemia, he's back on this making me eat iron kick), but other than that, I can't complain. Pretty darned good day overall. Too bad Michigan lost. Now I just need a damned GPS. I almost went to Best Buy and bought one. Beerman insisted I wait to choose one for Christmas that I like instead of doing the impulse buy which is so typical of me. Darn the logic. Book update: I finished Blue Shoes and Happiness - the 5th book in the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series. I don't know if I'd enjoy the series as much as I do if I hadn't been to Botswana. But having been there, I enjoy this series tremendously. If you'd like a nice pleasant read about a simpler place, I highly recommend picking them up. (Or borrowing them from me, since I own them all).

Nuggets and Geocaching

C-man will now eat p, b & j sandwiches or Morningstar Farms chick'n nuggets. Side items include fruit, yogurt, and cheese. Excellent. The first vegetarian to never eat a vegetable. Beerman isn't going hunting. Living the workaholic life has finally beaten him down to the point that he can't push it another inch. At least he's bringing home a fish fry for dinner. I'm going to die of fish fry cancer - I just know it. But yum... James Bond's latest opens tonight. I'm sad we're not going to see it. I do, however, have a babysitter lined up for December 2nd - the night we'll be attending a James Bond themed progressive dinner party. I am going to try to dress up like Pussy Galore. And I did receive the first DVD in the 6th season of the Sopranos today, so that's good. Tomorrow I'm going to go try geocaching at the SANC. It should be a fun time. Now that Beerman's home, I won't have to haul C-man. Bonus! Enjoy your weekend!

Bring out the orange

Tomorrow Beerman leaves for hunting, and C-man and I are alone again. I, of course, only realized this earlier this week. Since Red Ryders aren't allowed, C-man is staying with me. Maybe we can check out a gps and go geocaching at SANC. I've decided it might be my new hobby, and we won't get shot at. Which is nice. For those of you who are looking, my amazon.com wishlist keeps getting updated...

Captain Kirk Meets Johnny Cochran?

Like a bad train wreck, I just couldn't stop watching. I had to ask myself over and over again, is Captain Kirk actually a game show host? And did Captain Kirk really just say, "Ask a dancer for the answer." Really? This isn't a joke? And the first contestant was a gay guy who thought Amsterdam was in Denmark. And he still walked away with 500k. Are we sure this isn't a joke? Wow. I'm giving it 2 more shows before ABC realizes its grave mistake on this one. For good news of the day, Beerman is home, the fish and dogs are fed, dinner is cooked, and it's the last night I have to hear about stupid Dancing with the Stars. So all is right in the world.

Lying with the Stars

This is how I feel about this silly show:

How I know I'm a mother

When I wake up to my alarm clock going off in another room, and I am cuddling a teddy bear. When I look at dinner, and think - oh, don't eat all of that because it could be C-man's lunch tomorrow! That I know every type of truck ever made by its scientific name. There's no other place I'd rather have him then backing up his caboose to sit in my lap while we read a book about, what else, trucks.

Am I Dying?

Saturday it was all I could do to stay awake. Sunday afternoon, the apocolypse hit. Oh my, it was ugly. It hit Beerman about 2 a.m. I'm home from work today because, well, I just couldn't function beyond taking C-man to daycare in my smelly clothes I'd slept in. Somehow, Beerman got up, to work, and is on his way to Oregon today. I think that goes in the 'workaholic' definition. I have made it to the couch where I slept for 4 hours. Now I've got to figure out what I can eat without revisiting it in a fe.w hours

Push it Real Good!

This morning C-man woke up way too early, and I felt like crap. So Beerman played with him while I slept. When I got up, I noticed they'd been coloring "big trucks". On one page, with a bulldozer, "C-man" had written, "Push it, Push it real good!" Now, at 19 months, not only can he write, but knows lyrics from Salt and Pepa? Wow, my kid is good! Oh, has anyone noticed that our once red states are now a majority blue? Thank you Virginia!

Denied!

I got a call from the blood bank last night telling me they were in emergency status right now. Convenient, I said, because they were doing a blood drive at work today. So, I went down, gave them my donor card, filled out my paperwork, and sat down for the temperature and finger prick. Well, it took Wilbur an inordinate amount of time to figure everything out. (He asked my birthdate four times) And then, he said, "Oops, you're only at 34% and you need to be at 38%". Damnit. My iron is low again. I guess it figures, considering how I've been eating lately. Crap. Now I have to get all healthy again. But the moral of the story is: if you can, give it, because they really need it right now. TGIF! Despite it thundering, lightning and sleeting, it's the weekend. Woo-hoo!

Oh, my head!

I flew back on from San Francisco to Phoenix to Milwaukee. My travels started at 3:50 a.m. The best part was on the 4 hour flight from Phoenix to Milwaukee, in which I was in row 20 - next to FIVE families with children. Now, I'm understanding of small children, but 4 hours of screaming made me want to pull my hair out. I now have a serious headache. Poor kids, I know it hurts. But yikes. The good news is I finished another book - The Memory Keepers Daughter by Kim Edwards. It's a big-time national bestseller right now. The question I have to ask is: Why? That was one sloooooow-movin' book, and does not get the JPR stamp of approval. I did pick up Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston (guy who cut his own arm off to save his life while climbing) for $3.99 at Borders in San Fran, though. I'm pretty interested in seeing how it goes. Tonight Beerman and I have parent-teacher conferences. Well, that's what I'm calling it at least. They call it "Important Parent Meeting". I think that's code for "We're raising your rates, so come at 5:30 so we can tell you about it." Glad to be home with the sheepies and can't wait to see the rest of the family.

Laughs

Whoopee Wednesday!

I don't know what's better - that a Democrat is still governor in Wisconsin, that Obey now gets his coveted chairmanship of Ways and Means (my childhood Congressman), that the Wisconsin State Senate went to the left, or that I don't ever have to see Jim Talent's (Missouri) face blabbering on TV again. It's probably shallow if I say it might be not having to look at Talent's ugly mug. Sigh. How refreshing. The disappointing thing was the marriage referendum. I guess the fundamentalist scaredy-cats and red necks got their amendment so we're sure "those people" can never marry. Boo. It's Wednesday, so I'm still in San Francisco. I was actually able to sleep past 4 a.m., which makes me feel like a beauty queen. I went shopping at Macy's last night and got a pair of cheap jeans. I love that. I still miss my hubby and baby though. At least I can say Mommy Cisco is coming home tomorrow. And because this makes me laugh: Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.

San Francisco Update

Okay, here's something that could change your life: http://gethuman.com/us/ This is a website that will link you to just about every imaginable US company and how to get to a REAL PERSON instead of an automatic prompt. This could make me a new woman. No guarantees that the person will be American or speak English, but regardless, I could become a new woman. On the San Francisco stuff... Yesterday, after a full day of class (which isn't half-bad, by the way), we went to see the tourist sights. I saw Alcatraz in the distance (not up close), sea lions (not nearly as stinky as the seals in South Africa, by the way), the Bay Aquarium, Chic's Restaurant, and O'Reilly's pub. A decent night, all in all, except for all the work chatter. Bleh. Why do people do that so much? Natural tendency, I guess. Today will be another day in class. I'm working on getting out of here Wednesday night, but I don't know how successful I'll be. Happy Election Day!

NOW can we cut and run?

For the record, I hate the death penalty. It's inappropriate at any time during any circumstance. But this is a soap box for a different day. So that said, the Iraqi High Court has sentenced Saddam to death. And while I realize he gets his automatic appeal, blah, blah... it's over. So can we get the hell out of Iraq now? I was watching the list of soldiers who've died the past couple of days scroll across my screen last night. They ranged in age from 19 - 25! The horror of it all makes me so angry. We're wasting lives, lives of people who aren't even old enough to legally drink or rent a car... for what? So there you have my strong opinion and political statement. Now get out and vote for the good guys tomorrow.

San Francisco Sunday

After leaving on a jet plane, and flying to Phoenix, I've made it to California. My very first time here. The weather is nice - no jackets required. The Ghiradelli chocolate is tasty, fake purses in Chinatown are cheap - mine's a Prada, Fisherman's Wharf was touristy and I loved it, and the company was great - met up with Mrs. Canuck for the day. It's too bad it has to be spoiled with lots of work stuff the rest of the week! I'm hoping to get to the aquarium tomorrow, but I don't know how long it's open. I had some crab cakes tonight. Pretty darned good, considering seafood isn't my favorite. I miss my little C-man and Beerman already.

Shopping Saturday

Today is Friends and Family Day at my favorite box-chain retailer, so I'm getting 15% on top of my 15%. Got some Christmas shopping to bang out today! The other thing I'm smacking off my list like Rick Flair is a haircut. "WHOOOOO!" This bush needs wackin'. In other news, I'm heading to San Francisco tomorrow. I have to fly to Phoenix to get to California. No wonder this industry is going bankrupt. San Francisco should be good, seeing Mrs. Canuck, drinking good wine, and seeing stinky seals. I'm excited.

Really?

Has John Kerry, a man who isn't even running for anything, really botched more elections? How does this guy do this? No wonder the Democrats can't win anything!

Saints Go Marching In...

Happy All Saint's Day. I'm heading to San Francisco on Sunday. If anyone knows of any good restaurants, let me know. I'll be there for 4 nights, so hopefully I'll get to see something good. It's Hump Day. God, I love Hump Day.

Happy Halloween!

Boo! It's a bit bizarre having today be Halloween when all the trick-or-treating stuff is over. Kind of anticlimatic. The other day I read that shampoo is pretty much just shampoo regardless as to the brand, and that if you want really clean hair, you should rinse with 1/4 cup of vinegar. So I did it. Then I washed my hair with shampoo, and conditioned twice. I swear, my head still smells like an Easter egg. And for the record, I don't see much of a difference, people. I'm making the leap today and getting a cable internet modem installed in the house. Since work is so firewalled, I can't check my e-mail until I get home. And quite frankly, this dial-up stuff is for the birds! Have a spooky, non Easter-egg smelling Halloween!

Why do we move these clocks?

So I got up early this morning so I could get to work extra-early because we're launching a new program this morning. It's my team's responsiblity, so I want to get it right. Well, I woke Troy up, and he comes staggering punch-drunk into the bathroom and says, "Honey, it's 10 to 5 in the morning. Are you really leaving this early?" Can someone tell me why we move our clocks?!? Because clearly, I can't seem to get it right. On the bright side, I got to eat breakfast, read the paper, pick up the house a bit, and hug the dogs. Not so horrible. C-man went Trick-or-Treating yesterday. He didn't quite get it until we looked back at him in the little red wagon, mouth stuffed with candy from his bucket that we didn't give him. Which, of course, meant that the pieces weren't unwrapped either. After prying the candy out of his mouth, unwrapping it, and giving it back to him, he could only say one word: "TREAT!" The village had a bonfire at night, which was nice. C-man was bit scared, though, so we didn't stay long. Off to work I go. Enjoy your Monday!

Sunday Funday

Trick or Treat! The Flash and I will be making an appearance later today. He doesn't like chocolate, but it'll be fun to get out in the red wagon. Mom and Dad were here this weekend. We had a good time. I really know how to show people a good time - I took them to Cabela's. Thankfully, they're pretty low maintenance, so thought it was fine. Guess I should put a bit more effort into the plans next time! C-man sure was sad when they left, saying "Bye Grandma! Bye Grandpa!" and blowing kisses. Off to watch Bob the Builder...

Friday Fish Fry

TGIF... Whew. What a long ass week. Mom and Dad are coming in tonight, and staying for the weekend, so that should be fun. Trick or treating is Sunday, so the Flash will make an appearance. I finally got the new Edie Brickell CD today. If you haven't heard it, give it a try. Good for working 'round the house kind of stuff. Off to make my meat pie for dinner, and get a bill ready for my freelance work. Enjoy the weekend!

Mark Said It Would Be Like This

Saturday night Beerman and I attended a beer tasting event. Beerman was the "on-site expert". That was all well and good, until my favorite weatherman, Mark Baden, showed up. Now, when I call him my favorite weatherman, I might be understating it a little bit. In other news, we typically let the dogs run out and get the paper with us. Well, yesterday our neighbor across the street who hasn't acknowledged our existance in the 2 years they've lived there, was letting in her itty bitty ankle biter dog as Beerman was getting the paper. Imagine her surprise when Harry and Riley showed up at the door right behind Lily asking to get in. I was in the shower, and I heard her shriek! Oops. Guess they can't ignore us now!

Friday Fun

So I've been in the department stores the last few days. What was hyped as a great "experience" (my group lo-oves that buzzword for everything, by the way), has ended up to be well, something else. Let's review: Wednesday: Walk around store, help lost little girl who only spoke Spanish find her Mama, re-do a wall of slippers. Thursday: Stock housewares (I didn't even break anything) and unload truck for 4 hours, watch store administrator do her job (e-mail, make signs, etc.) for 3 hours. Friday: I'm off to go to a different store in a few minutes. Vera Wang is visiting the store to look around on Monday so it's supposed to be bat-shit crazy there today. Great. I can't wait. Now all of this would be fine and dandy, I'm not above doing a slipper wall after all, if I thought it had any bearing on my life. But at the end of the day, am I a better trainer because of this? Um, no. I was just in the way of some very hard working people. But on Monday I'm going to have to spin it into some wonderful "experience". Corporate life is going to get some getting used to. In other news, it's almost the weekend! Tomorrow we've got a babysitter, and are running a beer tasting event. Sunday we're off to Coleman to see the extended family. Since Beerman likes to drive, I'll be in back sleeping with C-man for 2 hours. I just can't seem to shake this cold!

Woeful Wednesday

I'm sick. My head cold and green yuk has now turned into a chest hack. C-man has been up the last two nights sobbing between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m., which hasn't improved my disposition. Ugh. Today's my day to start my "store experience". In other words, I'm spending the next 3 days in a department store stocking shelves, catching thieves, and ringing up purchases. Maybe now's not the right time to tell people that department stores make me clausterphobic. Can't I do an "online shopping store experience"? My conundrum of the day -- Why does Beerman wakes up the second you shut off his football game, yet if C-man wakes up crying right next to him shouting "Daddy", he snores on? Off to stock some shelves...

Chocolate Beer and Jay Leno

Beerman's chocolate beer has made it big time... as a joke on Jay Leno. (you will have to register, but then you can see it) http://www.criticalmention.com/ctv3-1/landing_email.php?type=email&video=true&random_string=7d413d5892b7013bf88f49317c76aa64 NBC The Tonight Show With Jay Leno Mon 16 Oct 2006 11:41 PM EDT Text from Video:[ laughter ] so close to christmas bonus. [ rim shot ] and the miller brewing company, coming out with chocolate-flavored beer for the holidays. chocolate and beer, how about that, huh? [ applause ] oh, yeah, great, great. now you can work on your beer gut and your fat ass all at the same time. [ laughter ] in fact, we have the bottle right here. this is the new chocolate beer. it's called "butt wider." "butt wider." [ applause ] oh, great taste, more diabetes. great taste, more diabetes. and a new mexico woman arrested last week after she got caught hiding a needle of heroin inside a taco bell burrito. she was delivering it to a a friend in jail. actually, the heroin's probably the healthiest thing in the taco bell burrito. actually, authorities became alerted after the cell mate -- the cell mate -- complained

Weekend Warrior

It's Saturday. I feel like crap. Everyone around me seems to have a cold, so apparently I do too. My 2-hour nap helped, though. The good news is that I got paid yesterday. 3 weeks of pay come out to be more than 4 at my previous job. Swe-eeeet! The bad news is that some lazy ass in payroll never bothered to key in my W-4, so I was listed as a Single-0. Wow, that was a lot of taxes taken out. Back to the good news - My net of 3 weeks with a ton of taxes taken out was more than 4 weeks with little taxes taken out at my previous job. Swe-eet! Speaking of the cold hard green cash, I'm taking a break from developing a course at freelance wages for my old job. Beerman took C-man to get some mittens to give me some time to make some money. Very helpful. Well, back to the grind.

Hump Day Happenings

It took me only 3 weeks to finally spill coffee on my work computer. When am I going to learn how to drink and type? Other than that, work is still going well. It's getting colder than crap outside. I hate winter. For all those people whining when it was 95, sunny and beautiful -- boo! Since it's supposed to snow, I guess I should get all my herbs cut down this weekend. That makes me so sad. Tomorrow night I'm playing Bunco with the Northshore Newcomers ladies. I've never played, but it's dice, wine, and gossip. Now how can THAT be bad? Which reminds me -- must pick up a bottle of white!

Monday Musings

ME: "C-man, you need to have your feet on the floor by the time I count to 3. One..." C-MAN "TWO!" ME: On the floor peeing my pants It's been a long time since I've been happy to go to work on a Monday. Now I've had 3 in a row. How long do you think this will last? How can it be in the 70s over the weekend, and snow during the week? It just isn't fair.

TGIF

I love Fridays. It gives me such hope for the weekend. It's supposed to be beautiful, too. I have 2 words to sum it up -- Beer me.

Views from the Parking Lot

2700 people parking in one flat surface lot means you have to park a long ways from the door. But I realized this morning that it provides me with some thought-provoking moments. For example: ILVBCKY: I get it. The license plate holder, 3 bumper stickers, 2 flags out the window, and Bucky Badger doll in the back window are therefore overkill. Mr. White Expedition: Is it necessary to have 4 enormous 3'x3' Kansas City Chiefs logos plastered on each side of your car? ACE KING: Um, no. And from the looks of you and your chick car, ACE QUEEN might be more appropriate. JVV600: Lookin' good, baby!

Randon Musings on a Tuesday

If the work cafeteria has Trick or Treat Tuesdays, do I really have to say "Trick or Treat"? Or do I just get the caramel apple? Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen is one of the best books I've read in a long, long, long time. If you haven't picked it up, then you're committing some sort of book reading crime. Take the Lead with Antonio Banderas is one of the worst movies I've seen in a long, long, long time. Maybe ever. Don't even touch it in the video store due to the potential bad Karma you might get. What are the chances that someone could be in 2 book clubs and hate both selections for October? - Atonement by Ian McEwan and Wicked by some God-awful writer. Can anything be more depressing? How is it that some people on my work team can speak an entire sentence and have every single word be a buzzword, jargon or acronym? And do they realize how ridiculous they sound? Why is it that my tights fit when I put them on in the morning, but by afternoon feel like I'm in a sausage casing?

Just Another Manic Monday

More affirmations on why I like my new job -- at 2:30 p.m. each day, there is a "treat of the day" special. Today was nachos. Tomorrow is chocolate dipped frozen bananas. Beautiful. Despite last night being near-armageddeon with the thunder, lightning, transformers blowing up across the street, fire trucks and electrical crews coming by, C-man slept through. Maybe the trick to getting him to sleep is to make everything as noisy as possible? Just a thought... In other good news, Cooks Illustrated has declared boxed wine to be as good as bottled for cooking. So grab your $5 and go nuts, kids. It's partytime!

TGIF - Friday Foolery

What's funny about today? That I'm still standing up. Let's see... One week of a new job down. Beerman is still in Denver. C-man doesn't feel like sleeping at night. 2 dogs who bark non-stop at every little noise. Whew! Hopefully C-man and I will get to a pumpkin patch this weekend. It's been such crappy weather, but Sunday's supposed to be good. Maybe we'll go hiking. It is also associate shopping weekend - so I get 30% off at my newest favorite retailer. If C-man's cooperative, maybe we'll go there too.

4 Days Down

4 days down in this job. Whew. It's quite an adjustment period. I hate that I get C-man from daycare so late. But other than that, there aren't any drawbacks that I can see so far. So, so far so good on the decision-making to do this move. Beerman is still judging da beerz in Denver. Today was some Belgian style beer that I didn't recognize the name of, so I can't tell you what it was. C-man's Halloween costume came in and it fits. Thank God, because I don't have the energy to look for a different one. Speaking of energy, if I were a tank of gas in my car, I'd be on fumes. C-man was up from 1:30 a.m. - 4:45 a.m. last night crying. He was grumpy at daycare today too. Wonder why. I can barely see straight. Tomorrow's Friday, though, and I get to wear jeans to work. Jeans! Can you even believe it? It's like a dream come true.

Blog, Smog, Fog

I'm 2 days into my new job. It's always an adjustment period, which sucks. I see one of the Sr. Managers of Human Resources is someone with whom I spent some time in South Africa. I remember, although I'm not sure she does. I'm really not sure how she ever passed that drug test! Whew! Anyhow, my new employer is like none other I've ever had. As far as I can tell, they meet a lot to tell each other how much work they have to do, and how they need to move at the speed of light. Best I can tell, nobody's moving anywhere except into a meeting room. I sure hope that isn't true, although I think it's just a slice of the typical corporate life. The atmosphere is nice, and the cafeteria gives out free coffee all day long. Beerman is in Denver for the Great American Beer Festival until Sunday. So it's C-man and me on our own. I think we'll manage.

I'm Outta Here!

Today is my last day at EJM. I can hardly believe it. My boss is in complete denial, asking me to do some projects that clearly can't be done before lunch today. (That's about as long as I'm working, by the way) We're all doing a goodbye lunch, which is nice. I plan on drinking too much. I'll miss a few, and not some others. So goodbye suckers!

Penultimate Day

Oh my goodness, it's my penultimate day at work. I can't really grasp that it's even real. But I'm getting pretty excited to move on. I'll miss a few here, but am really glad to be going somewhere with so many people closer to my age. The thought of no travel or Stinky Le Pew doesn't hurt either! Beerman has been working incredibly ridiculous hours, so I missed book club last night. To Kill A Mockingbird is one of my all-time favorites... oh well. It happens. Next month's selection is Atonement. Am I the only non Frank McCourt fan out there? Depressing. Wicked is the selection in my other book club (The other one I had to miss last month because Beerman was working. Boo.) In big news, C-man can now blow his nose. I almost cried I was so proud. Hopefully this will help keep his ears clear!

Because there are only 3 days left...

This makes me laugh hard. Watch more funny videos at FunnyJunk.com And this is just plain ol' good advice:

Weekend Leftovers

ME: "C-man, what's my name?" C-MAN: "Mommy" ME: "Right! Now what's your name?" C-MAN: "Pizza" We went to the Thiensville Fire Department Pancake Breakfast on Saturday morning. I'm pretty sure we paid $11 so C-man could run around and touch "BIG TRUCKS!" Best $11 a person could spend on a Saturday morning, as far as I'm concerned. He was in heaven. By the way, whoever said firemen could cook never ate the hard disks called pancakes at the TFD pancake breakfast! It says something about me that I somehow went from knowing the menu of every great restaurant in town to knowing every great park and playground in town. Lions Park in Thiensville is a great one right on the river if you're in the area. There's even a path you can run down as fast as you can and shout "DUCK! QUACK QUACK!" at all the ducks swimming around in said river.

Friday Foolery

Since there have been some new Virgin Mary sitings in food, I thought I'd revisit one of my favorite topics and post a few posts of the wacky ones. The infamous grilled cheese: Popcorn with Mary and Jesus: The ever-tasty tortilla: Pre-soup turtle: And while not food, this MRI is too ridiculous to not deserve mention: Happy Friday!

Is It Really Only Thursday?

Having to be in Detroit all week is making this week move soooooo slowly. I miss my C-man and Beerman very much. Tuesday night I did do something I've never done before - went and saw a movie on my own. I saw Little Miss Sunshine. It's full of such morbid humor that I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes during parts of it. Good thing there were only 4 other people in the theater. There are loads of f-bombs in the movie, so leave the kids at home. But once you get past that, it's hilarious! It goes on my highly recommends list. Last night my boss and I went to Eileen Fisher in Somerset Mall. Nice! ____________ Today was another thrilling one. Me taking notes on a course that I wrote, as asshats who don't know how to train stood up in front of a group and pontificated on each point as if they knew what they were doing. At one point, they proclaimed, "Who is Malcom Knowles?" I could have cried. Then I lost my cool and went a bit batshit crazy. Then I calmly stood up and introduced Malcolm Knowles to be the grandfather of adult learning and education, and without his theories, there would be no official field of adult learning and the theory of androgy. These people are supposed to be trainers?!? It makes me so sad. I can't wait to move to a new job in which there are teams of trainers - real frickin' trainers - not just people who call themselves trainers. Sorry about this rant, but it's like me calling myself an architect because I know what a Roman Column is. Or a chef because I can cook coq au vin. Or a racecar driver because I can drive a minivan. Grrrr!!! On a good note, I had some Tim Horton's coffee and donuts today. (No chunky chicken sandwich for me. I still can't bring myself to order that!) Another goodie is that I'm going home on the 3:30 flight tomorrow. I. Can't. Wait.

Making Me More Sure Every Day

It's one thing when I'm in the office and have to deal with the rumor mill of working life. But when I get to come to Detroit, I learn some very interesting things about myself that I'm glad I now know - all propagated by the Office Stinky Le Pew (whom I will not be missing for a nanosecond). I thought you should know too:

• My boss was so angry at me for job hunting that she fired me
• I am taking a job as the top person in Kohl's Human Resources (wow! good for me!)
• I had to resign because I've been plagarizing all my materials for the past 5 years
• No one has ever seen my boss angrier than when I told her I was leaving

In addition to the rumors, I've been told the quality team has gone around telling people to come to their class for "the great view". Oh barf. As if crap like that isn't enough to make you get out. No matter how bad the new job is, it's going to be better.

Last night I ate at Mon Jin Lau, a Chinese restaurant on Maple and Rochester. If you're ever in Detroit and hankerin' for some Chinese, I highly recommend it. Just skip dessert - they aren't worth it.

De-Troit Rock City!

It's my first day of my last trip to this city. I don't know how I feel about that. Like everything about quitting this job, it's both good and bad. But, mostly good - which is why I know I've done the right thing. I do know one big thing, I miss my family a ton, and will be soooooo happy to not travel for work anymore.

Friday Foolery

Verbatim from yesterday afternoon: Boss: "I need you to push back your final day another week so that you can go to an important meeting in Detroit on September 25th." Okay, for those of you hard-to-pleasers who aren't on the floor holding your stomach, wiping tears from your eyes, and peeing your pants from laughing as hard as I was from that, how about this:

Have a great weekend!

Um... Yeah... I Don't Care

Any question at my job that starts out with, "What are we going to do about..." ends up with a very smart and polite response from my mouth. But in my head, I've got a whole different dialogue going on. For example: Boss says: "What should we do about combined sessions?" Mouth says: "We need to bill the entire amount to one facility and they pro-rate it on their end" Head thinks: "Um... Yeah... I Don't Care." Boss says: "Which trainers should we send to xyz city?" Mouth says: "We need to determine which trainers meet our new NMSDC quota..." Head thinks: "Um... Yeah... I Don't Care." I've got 11 working days left, and I'm already at the "Um... Yeah... I Don't Care." stage. Luuuuu-cccccy, we've got a problem!!!

Woo-Hoo Wednesday!

Notified my husband... check. Notified Kohls HR department... check. Notified my boss... check. (but did I have to cry while doing it?) Notified my clients... check. Notified my co-workers... check. Yes, I've officially quit my job, pending a successful drug test later today. (They better not get all Floyd Landis on me!) I'm here until September 22nd, at which point I'll officially become the Assistant Manager Learning and Development at Kohls Corporation. I've been tearing my hair out about what to do since I got the offer last Tuesday, but finally decided that it's time to move on to bigger, hopefully better, and more exciting things. I won't have such a nice view out of my window (I am overlooking Lake Michigan on the 6th floor), won't have a nice drive to work (I do love Lake Drive), won't be the office pet, and won't get morning breakfasts with my boss at City Market (this could fall into the good category as well). I'll miss a few (surprisingly few) people along the way too. But moving comes with some major advantages -- it's a large corporation, great career exposure, next to no travel, and a well-needed (and deserved in my opinion) change that all comes neatly packaged in a salary raise, profit sharing, stock options, sweet little signing bonus, and on-site childcare (I'm still undecided whether that's something we'll be using). So the decision has been made. And thank God for it, because we now owe $399 for foot orthotics I need but insurance wouldn't cover and $520 for front and rear brakes on the car! It just doesn't end...

Thoughtful Tuesday

Kind of a weird day. So much in my life is in transition right now. But it's for the better. Change is neither good nor bad, or so I write in my change management course... C-man was sick all weekend. I took him to the walk-in clinic on Saturday thinking it was ear infection. His fever continues in the 102 range, though, and he was heaving a little this morning. Beerman is home with him today. Looks like I've got sick duties tomorrow. I'm so worried about him. And of course, because this made me giggle:

Friday Foolery

This just cracks me up.

Thursday Thoughts

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ag8J2NMYmc

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today is my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Jitters

Caffeine has a real effect on me. While pregnant and nursing, I didn't have any - so after 2 years of being caffeine-free, I've gone back to my morning coffee. This morning turned into 3 cups. I can barely function, my hands are shaking so much. I sort of feel like this guy...

Effulgent Jen

Effulgence: to shine forth There's this theory that says if you say you are something (happy, sad, angry, hopeful) you will become that. So today, in this gray, rainy day, I am effulgent Jen! It sure is nice to be back home again. Beerman and I went to our church blood drive on Saturday. Poor Beerman got an enormous bruise where they poked him. Probably because he beat my incredible 6 minute pumping time by almost a full minute! (That'll teach him!) Anyhow, that's my plug - if you haven't donated in a while (or ever), go ahead and do it. It is super fast, and the blood banks need it. The mold allergies are kicking my butt these days. However, it's hard to be sad when you're running after C-man who is running toward the grape arbor to steal un-ripe grapes before you can catch him. Here's a photo of him with his squinched up face after biting into one and going back for another...

DC Take 3

Our third day in DC was another day filled with class. It was a bit more tedious today than yesterday, what with people being comfortable enough to start with the, "In my situation..." crap. But, that's certification courses for you. We left at lunch time and went out on our own to the Hard Times Cafe. It's a cool little chain that specializes in chili. We had the Texas chili on fritos. Fantastic. Tonight for dinner we went to a place called A Dublin Chipper. Today was its official opening. It has enough room for 20 people to eat at one time, and specializes in fish and chips. I had the large cod (6 ozs) accompanied with the tartar sauce, while my friend had the ray accompanied with the Katie O'Shea sauce (mayo, ketchup and chili). We shared a large bag of chips with the hot chili sauce. There were six sauces to choose from - the aforementioned tartar, Katie O'Shea, hot chili, and then a curry, and 2 more I can't remember. There were fried Mars bars, but we were so stuffed from our eating frenzy over the past few days (did I mention the made-to-order omelets I've been eating each morning in the hotel for breakfast?), that we actually said no to the Mars bars. After the dinner, we walked down to the Chesapeake Bay and looked at all the touristy crap in Old Town Alexandria. I'm going to be really glad to be home with Beerman and C-man tomorrow. I haven't posted many pictures lately, so I thought I'd look for one. The funniest thing about this picture is that I've actually been here! It's in nowhere Southern Missouri, near Farmington. I'm going to find my picture of me next to this sign and post it next week when I'm home again:

DC Day 2

I spent all day today in class. It was a much better class than I'd expected, though, which was pretty positive. Tonight we headed to Post Modern Brasserie to eat. On Wednesdays they celebrate Colonial grains. Tonight's beer was a Clipper Ale. It was a bit too hoppy, but compares pretty comparably to a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

Dinner was pretty much in the excellent category. We started with bruchetta. It was heirloom cherry tomatoes (sweeter than sugar), manchego cheese, and caramelized onions. (It was supposed to have white anchovies, but we asked for it to be served without) It was garnished on top with the tiniest bit of parsley. It was next to impossible to eat graciously, but we snorkled it down, enjoying each bite. Next, I had the ribeye cap. It was a tiny portion, served a bit on the rare-ish side, but enjoyable nonetheless. It was served next to a zucchini galette, garnished with wilted purple oregano and green oregano. Yum. My friend had the sea bass. It was laid on top of great looking mashed potatoes, and topped with arugula and a wine-poached egg. Absolutely beautiful and apparently quite tasty too. We accompanied this with trufle frites. They were absolutely out of this world. Desserts were lavender smores (restaurant made graham, chocolate sauce and lavender marshmallow) and pot de creme. Eich-ee-wow-wah! This was accompanied with port wine for my friend and sambuca for me. Our post-dessert dessert consisted of apricot jellies rolled in sugar (melt in your mouth good), chocolate balls rolled in pistachios (is this what they did with my leftover delicious pot de creme?), and lemon cookies. If the server (from Minnesota, University of Wisconsin alum) hadn't served my friend sheeps milk ricotta and nettles ravioli before we corrected him on the sea bass, it would have been perfect. But, since he was a Wisconsin alum, we got over it quickly.

Tomorrow is more class. I'm really missing my baby and husband already.

Washington DC

I flew into Washington DC today. We did a bit of walking. Our first visit was to the Smithsonian Photography Museum. Very cool place. The current exhibits include William H. Johnson: and William Wegman: There was also a great exhibit on portraits of the presidents. I think my favorite was one of Nixon done by Norman Rockwell! We went past the White House. You know, the people's house that no people can go into. We saw the Washington Monument. What a drag this administration is. The 24/7 peaceful protest is still going strong, however. It has been since 1981. Then we saw the brand new WWII memorial. I wasn't sure what to expect, but it was really quite impressive. They did an excellent job on it, and the fact that it is in line with the Capitol, Washington Monument, and Lincoln Memorial makes it even more outstanding. Tomorrow I'm in "class" all day, but hopefully we can take the train in afterward and see some more stuff at night. I love this place!

Torpid

Torpid: To be sluggish or numb. As in, Jennifer is extremely torpid today. Beerman and I were watching a show on crocodiles on PBS last night. Yes, life without cable on a Sunday night when you're trying to get a kid to sleep can be a little bit dull. Anyhow, a guy called the crocs "torpid" and I didn't know what it was. I made Beerman look it up (because C-man was in my lap), and now I have a new word to describe my day. I also learned that we need to clean off the shelf that holds the dictionary -- as everything came falling down on top of Beerman. That's a project for another day! Our weekend was really nice. Great weather, dogparks, garden stores, planting, napping, outdoor church mass and annual picnic (Beerman and I ruled the beverage tent! Next year we own that picnic.) C-man is quite a ladies man. At church all the little girls wanted to be his friend because "he is soooo-oooo cuuuu-uuute." Their words, not mine. I finished another book on my way into work today -- Dirty Blonde by Lisa Scottoline. It's about a smart, modern woman who is appointed to the Eastern District Federal Court as a judge. A smart, professional career woman who makes her way up into the world from being a blue-collar working-class kid. Nice, right? It's moves along fine about this smart woman who gets herself in the middle of some pretty bad situations, when suddenly the author tries to put in a plot twist. So instead of the person she figures out as the killer really being the killer (spoiler alert), it becomes her incompetent law clerk. Someone who has a less than two-bit part suddenly becomes the plot twist. That's not a plot twist, that's just stupid! And then the author says as the two-bit law clerk wanna-be plot-twist shoots the judge, "The bullet just grazed her shoulder, but the jacket was DOA." BARF! Are you kidding me? That's what we're reduced to? A smart, hard-working career woman is being shot and and what she's concerned with is her jacket? Oh, puh-leeze! And of course, in the end, she and her best friend are both madly in love with the handsome cops who protected them during the ordeal. Big ol' thumbs down from Jennifer! If you do make the mistake of reading this book, don't get the audiobook -- it's read by a Canadian. Sorry to my Canadian readers, but if a book already sucks, I at least want to hear "process" not "pro-sess", "out" not "aooout" and "produce" not "prah-duse". Tomorrow I'm heading off to Washington DC for the week for a certification in Measuring and Evaluating. Yeah, pretty exciting topic, eh? Hopefully it's good for the long-range career though. Tomorrow I should get the chance to see some sights, since I leave early in the morning. And Mom -- you post comments by clicking the "comments" below. Not the little envelope.

Friday Foolery

Thank God it's Friday! has never been a truer statement. Wow, this has been a long week. I'm less blue today, but not totally out of my funk. I guess you could say I'm more of a light periwinkle. Tonight we have C-man's school picnic. Tomorrow is housework. Sunday is our church picnic. Somehow Beerman and I felt it would be wise to join the picnic committee. Man, next year we're owning that committee! It's Irish Fest and Zoo a la Carte this weekend. Since I can't stand celtic music and those little red-headed girls with ringlets stomping their feet under those flouncy dresses to beat of the annoying celtic music, maybe we'll hit Zoo a la Carte. In funny Friday news, the Virgin Mary has now been found in chocolate drippings... http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/08/17/chocolate.mary.ap/index.html Apparently the Madonna is a hungry woman, what with all the sightings on food -- toasted cheese sandwich, cheese, chocolate... After all, a woman's gotta eat!

Blues

Today is one of those sad days. I have loads to be thankful and happy about, but just can't seem to crack a smile today. Maybe if I didn't have to wake up 2 of my staff guys at 10 a.m. Maybe if my feet didn't hurt so bad each step wasn't painful. (the orthotic place called a 4th time today asking if I wanted to go ahead with the orthotics. And I said, "You realize this is the FOURTH time I've told you this - yes!) Maybe if I liked my job. Maybe... Well, you get the picture. Hopefully I'll be Happy Jen again tomorrow.

Finales

I admit it. Fox has me hooked with its incredibly cheesy summer reality shows. At least Hells Kitchen went to the right chef, even if they were both incredibly dull. But tonight is my favorite little addiction, So You Think You Can Dance. I'm soooo cheering for Heidi, but I know Travis will win, because the judges totally tilted it in his favor. Beerman's flight from Portland lands at 6:30, so by the time he gets his baggage and we get home, it'll be after 7. I should still be able to make the good stuff since it's dragged out over 2 hours. In other news, I have had no less than 4 people at my work today say, "I'm glad I'm not you," or, "Thank God I don't have your job." Yeah, things are going splendidly these days. It makes me rethink why I feel I need a "career". But as Daddy always said, that's why they call it work not fun! At least I have pilates at 3 p.m., which always makes me feel good. Now I'm off to go dream about being on a beach far, far away from my job, with a beer in my hand and sand beneath my toes!

Random Musings

Why are people such angry drivers these days? I mean, if you've got time to flip me off, then you've probably got a little time to wait and let me merge safely into the lane. Even more, if you've got time to roll down your window to shout obsenities at me for following the law by turning right into a right lane (just because it wasted a millisecond of your time because you wanted to get in that lane) then don't you have time to think something nice about your fellow drivers? Can't we all just relax our white knuckles for one day and be courteous? C-man is really having trouble with his teeth. I know it's not his ears (for once) because we were just in to see the doctor. But he sobs in his sleep. I get up and hold him, hoping he'll wake up or just go back to sleep, but he's in such pain. It's so sad. I had my book club last night. Apparently a few others felt like I did about the stupid book, because the discussion was really limited about the book itself. That's the thing with book club books - they need to have some depth in order to be able to discuss it properly. On a good note, here's the sweetest face I've ever seen:

Monday Madness

In case you didn't notice, it's Monday. Beerman is in Oregon, doing his Beerman thing, so C-man, the dogs and I are on our own. So far so good... I have a book club meeting tonight, so C-man is with a babysitter for a few hours. We're discussing Peyton Place. I hate going to book club meetings when I thought the book was crap, but here goes nothing. Can someone please explain to me why this trashy crap was such a sensation in the 60s? In funnier news, Boy George is on trash duty. I wonder if he's serenading the other inmates while picking up the trash.

If this isnt love...

Earlier this week, after showering, I heard Beerman go back into the bathroom where none of his things are kept. I then heard him humming as the distinct sounds of someone putting on deodorant hung in the air. I popped my head in the bathroom, and sure enough, there he is in nothing but a towel and God's glory applying a stick of Dove deodorant -- curiously, the same kind I use -- under his arms. This morning, after picking a few underarm hairs off the end of the stick (I shave each morning, so unless the dogs are into deoderant, I'm pretty sure I know where it came from), I let him know that both CVS and Walgreens sell deoderant. After he left for work, I then sat down on the toilet, and looked over to see that there was no toilet paper on the roll... Guess I'll be finding CVS or Walgreens after work today!

Codeine and Her Red Shoes

C-man hasn't been sleeping well between his incisors grinding through and this cold that keeps him up coughing. Since I've got this stupid cold too, I've had a hard time sleeping. I finally broke down and got up mid coughing fit to take some Tussinex (the codeine cough syrup). I chugged a bit, smiled at myself, and as I slid back into bed stared in horror at the clock that read 4:16 a.m. I took codeine just 2 hours before I had to get up! Arrrgh! To make myself feel better, I put my red shoes on. Now I can't get the song out of my head:

Oh she move like the diva do

I said I'd love to dance like you.

She said just take off my red shoes

Put them on and your dreamll come true

With no words, with no song

You can dance the dream with your body on

And this curve, is your smile

And this cross, is your heart

And this line, is your path

Jay-Z Storms the UN, yo?

So Jay-Z is now joining with Kofi Annon at the UN to talk about the water crisis in the world. Is this some sort of bad joke? What is the new program going to be called: Water for Cristal? Oh, but I forgot, Jay-Z is worried about such worldly topics such as shunning Cristal. Maybe his highly intelligent and insightful lyrics will be upgraded to something like this:

I gotta let you niggas know the time like Movado

My motto, stack rocks like Colorado

Bottle off the DASANI, WATER by the bottle

It's a damn shame what ya knot though me

Slick like Igot though (who?) fuckin Jay-Z

Makes me fell all warm and fuzzy inside knowing he's at the forefront of one of our major world issues.

Tricky Tuesday

In case you don't have enough wasted time in your day, see if you can figure this out: http://www.aimsedu.org/aimskids/ipuzzles/farmer/farmer.html Also, I've been on a quest to read 52 books in 52 weeks this year. So far I'm doing pretty well, and am on schedule to finish it. Being in 2 book clubs has helped out in the quest. My favorite books this year have been the Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason, Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, by Lisa See, and Memory of Running by Ron McLarty. I've been making a list of all the books people have recommended to me, and it's looking like 2007 will have to be another 52 in 52 year just to finish them all. If you have any requests that I haven't put on the already-read list, let me know!

State Fair Hangover

Beerman, C-man and I went to State Fair yesterday with our $4 tickets. (It pays to buy them in April) Man, I sure do love that place. It was great watching C-man see all the animals, realizing that they aren't just Little People figurines. Now when he says a cow goes "Moo!" he knows they really do! I caught a cold from our little household germ machine, so I wasn't into the food as much as usual. However, I'll review the little I did have. (By the way, this year boasts 40 items on a stick!) Pork Sandwich: While they still have that tasty bbq sauce, the bun got all cheap-o this year. Corn Dog: Oh, my, greasy goodness. I wait 12 months for this tastiness. Monkey Tail: It's like an ice-cream sundae without the ice cream, but just as good. I prefer mine rolled in nuts. Pizza: C-man had to have his pizza, and I tasted a bit. If you're going to go to the fair, stick to the fair food. The new thing this year was the horticultural center. There is a whole area of gardens from around the world. For a more serene Fair experience, I highly recommend it.

Friday Foolery

Now who thinks this is a good idea? I really have to appreciate this woman's ingenuity! For those of you who have never been, I highly recommend a visit to the Wisconsin State Fair. Where else can you eat corn dogs, drink beer, eat corn, and watch horse pulling all at the same time?

Hot Enough For You?

Yesterday I decided to walk to the Milwaukee Public Market for some lunch. On my way there, I see a 40-ish construction worker approaching me. Construction worker: (head-snap nod, half-smile/sneer on his face) "Hot enough for ya?" Me: No, I'm married. Now, what in the hell was I supposed to say when I'm passing this guy who I don't know going opposite directions? "No, I really enjoy the heat and humidity. Despite growing up in rural northern Wisconsin, I hate the snow and cold more than anything." What ever happened to "Hello beautiful"? Anyhow, I spent my lunch hour on a picnic table in the hot sun thinking of a few things I could have responded: "No, I prefer them younger" "No, I'm just not into bald guys" "No, I'm waiting for global warming to really heat things up." "No, I prefer when my skin melts off" In other news, the Wisconsin State Fair begins today. I can say with an honest heart that I've never attended a better festival/fair anywhere in the world. If you can get there, be sure to go!

Wacky Wednesday

It's too hot and boring to be witty. So here's one of my favorites... And of course, I couldn't leave out our highly respected international peacemaker extraordinaire...

Number 100

It was so hot and muggy, but I did it - I ran the 5K at Miller Park on Saturday. I "woo-hooed!" at each mile marker, but no one else seemed to get the humor. Running through the stadium was pretty darned cool. I'm pretty embarassed at my slow time, but am getting over that a bit. I checked my stats this morning, and I came in 1027th overall, and 100th in my age group at 41:39. I could do better if I did it again, since I'd know how hard to really push myself. And maybe next time my family will recognize me when I pass the finish line!

Friday Foolery

What a great idea! And how can this not make you laugh?

2 Running Days 'til Hell!

Only 2 more days before I pant, slobber, and crawl my way through the 5k Sausage Race. About every 5 minutes I think, "Damnit, why am I doing this?" Did I mention that it's supposed to be 94 degrees and stormy on Saturday? OH-MY-GOD! In other news, I got internet back on my computer at work, so can blog freely. (I've been out of commission since Monday afternoon). I also got a sleek, sexy new chair to sit in while I do it.

Strawberry Shortcake

I've created an animal. I let C-man have some angel food cake yesterday. When I pulled out the strawberries to put on top of it, he went nuts! I have to admit, however, that while I didn't get to eat but a couple bites of it myself, having him on my lap going "Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" as he shoved pieces in his mouth was pretty precious.

Weekend Recap

This weekend Beerman and I went to the IRL race at the Milwaukee Mile courtesy of the Rayhal/Letterman team. We got free tickets, parking pass, hospitality tent food and beverage, and farmer tans. Good times for a free day. Well, except for the babysitter's fee. On that note, C-man had a new babysitter. She's a Marquette student, so I'm always a fan of promoting the local talent. They were at the park when we got home, so guess we'll use her again! In not so good news, Irwindale brewery voted its contract down. Beerman doesn't have to be a scab, but his entire staff does. This means C-man and I will be on our own a lot in the next few weeks. Bummer.

Friday Foolery

Okay, now how can this not make you laugh? And this is great too:

I've got a race number!

Haffenfeffer

Spot the Bunny has been my friend. He is the only one of his siblings who had decided to stay in the hospitable environment that is my herb garden. We named him Spot because, well, he has a white spot on his forehead. Anyhow, I began to have dreams of haffenfeffer when I went to my herb garden for some tarragon and saw it had been mowed down at the base, with the top just left there to wilt and die. He couldn't have nibbled downward from the top? I'm willing to share, after all!

Caleb officially has Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease. Damn that daycare! Anyhow, before anyone gets freaked out, it's not the sheep or cow disease -- that's hand and foot. It stinks, anyhow. He's had a fever for 3 days, a rash on his feet and a few mouth ulcers. We're pretty sure his throat hurts, because he doesn't want to eat or swallow and is a complete drool machine! I stayed home yesterday with him, and Troy is home today. In other news, it's been hotter than a dog's tongue this summer and we, of course, have no pool - only hot, dusty dirt. I am hating the decision to get rid of it more and more each day that I look out onto my dirt farm of a backyard!

Pack Rat Genes

It's official. Being a Pack Rat is in your genes. Don't believe me? Here's proof!

In other news, Pilates went well last night. Well, at least my body hurts in places I didn't know could hurt. So that's good, right?

We're planting a tree this weekend. I've decided on a nice locust. It's supposed to be 95 degrees out, though, so we'll see how far we get on that!

Anyhow, TGIF!