Funnies

A guy in Racine charged into his neighbor's house because he was assaulting a woman. Turns out, the guy was just watching porn too loudly. The funny part? The porn-watcher let himself be interviewed on the news and said, "Next time I'll wear headphones". C-man has crackers in the shape of Elmo and Big Bird. He loves eating the Elmo ones. Sometimes he'll have a whole gob of crackers in front of him and ask for more. When you look, it's all Big Birds left. So in trying to teach him to share, Beerman asked him for a cracker. C-man would carefully look through his pile, carefully pick out a Big Bird whose beak was broken, and then hand it over. Did I mention he'd then turn and hand me a perfect Elmo cracker and I didn't even ask for one? Last night while putting C-man to bed, Rileydog got in the livingroom. In a matter of seconds the crayons were gone. Should I leave a note for the dogwalker today explaining why it'll be rainbow?

And this is just self-explanatory: