A Matter of Faith

It's Sunday. And I didn't go to church. Again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-church. I send my kid to a Catholic school, after all. But I don't get out of mass what I think I'm supposed to. Usually, because it goes something like this. Wake up. Get ready. Get C-man ready. Go to church. Sit there for 20-ish minutes before C-man gets bored. Pull out stuff for him to quietly play with. Pick up cars that he's dropped. Get the markers out for him to color. Pick up the markers he's dropped and have rolled 3 pews in front of us. And so on... Could I make him sit for 1 hour and be quiet? Sure. Would any of us enjoy any of it? No, because we'd be too concerned with whether he was being "good". But I don't like NOT going to church. Skipping is not something I'm comfortable with. Yes, I know that walking Harry at the park and talking about how amazing it is that the leaves are turning colors with my 4-year old is something that's a pretty incredible experience. But it's not the same. (Not to mention the self-imposed pressure of thinking we should be going, since C-man's in school there). So there's my dilemma. How do I have a meaningful church-going experience with a religion that doesn't promote Sunday school or kids leaving church during mass? And no, switching religions isn't in the cards. So for right now, I'm at a loss for finding an appropriate compromise, which means none of us goes each week, and I continue to feel a little empty about it.