Latest funny quotes

C-man is always full of funny anecdotes. Lately, a few gems have come out of his mouth that were better than others:

• Ingrid said a funny thing at school today.  She said that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy aren't real.  But she's sooo wrong.  How ELSE do you get presents on Christmas?
• So answer me one thing - Do you take money out of my piggy bank and put it under my pillow?
• "Can I have some cheese with dinner?" "No, buddy, you had cheese in your lunch." "But I pooped twice at school! Once by the lunch room and once before rest!"
• While I was baking my cakes for cake decorating class, "That cake smells so good, I can't stand it! You're going to have to bake another one, because I need to eat some NOW!"
• Hey Mom, you know what the best country in the world is?  Butt-swana!  Get it?  Butt-swana!