June 18, 2013

Just Fine

People I don't know have been asking me if I am okay. Which translates into, "You look like serious hell." I don't have the energy to explain I have an autoimmune disease and how that affects me, so instead, I tell them I am just fine. We always all know it is a lie, but whatever.

I haven't heard from the rheumatologist even though the new drug has been approved for over a month. I have totally given up on them. I don't really believe the diagnosis anymore anyway. Something is wrong, but after all the drugs they've thrown at it that haven't worked, I don't think they have it right. So I am done chasing them. I have a naturopath appointment later this week. Maybe we can wave some shaman sticks at it or something. At this point, it can't do any worse. I just wish it weren't so depressing and hopeless feeling. I have zero control over my ability to even smile. I hate that.

3 comments:

l'empress said...

It takes a long time. Several people that I know that autoimmune conditions -- some of the have more than one, which interact.

Not being a doctor, I can't help you, except to say that I understand and I am sending good thoughts.

l'empress said...

Pfft! That's supposed to say "people that I know have..."

Excuse me.

Mary Z said...

Diagnosis is tough. My sister had scleroderma (affected her digestive tract) and it was a long time and a clinic at Johns Hopkins before she was diagnosed. My heart goes out to you.