Busy day

We spent the morning together, going to the dog park.

Then I took a cake decorating class, learning that cake decorating probably isn't my strong suit, but crossed #95 off the list.

Dragged the family out in the freezing cold to get our Christmas card photo taken.

Took C-man bowling for the first time ever.  We played 2 games, and he got a 75 and 85 (with bumpers).  He was thrilled. I was pleased I broke 100 both games.

And then we came home and realized the best part about cake decorating? The cake eating.

Nestled in

“God gives every bird his worm, but He does not throw it into the nest."

Somewhere Over the Rainbow, it's Friday

Thursday Thirteen bullets of random stuff

We have secured our plane tickets to Albuquerque for Easter break and I now have a bazillion country songs randomly streaming through my head as a result.  Who knew so many songs referred to Albuquerque?

I've never been to New Mexico, and am quite excited about it, even though it's months and months away.  But I love going to new places so much, it's a real thrill to have something on the books.  We're open to doing just about anything, so if you've been to NM and have any fun tips, let me have 'em!

There was a Quidditch World Cup held in New York last weekend. Can someone please tell these freaks that they look ridiculous with those brooms stuck between their legs?  You know, because they CAN'T.REALLY.FLY!

Next week is Thanksgiving.  When I was in 1st grade we had a Thanksgiving day party.  I don't remember what they served, but I remember I didn't like what was on the menu so had absolutely nothing to eat that day. And the teacher made me drink the white milk out of the carton that was almost room temperature "because I took it". (I didn't, the mom helper handed it to me).  I've never liked milk, and that room temperature 2% milk experience sticks in my mind so vividly all these years later.  Maybe that's contributed to why I don't feel like Thanksgiving is such a big deal?

At that same party, I was assigned to be an Indian. My mom put my hair in 2 french braids (like she did EVERY day of my childhood) and wrapped them in these leather things we had bought in Minocqua the summer prior.  I didn't want to be an Indian, because the hats were way cooler for the Pilgrims.  It would have been way more interesting had I known I have Wampanoag ancestory.

We're heading to Beerman's grandmother's house as usual. I've been assigned the cranberries.  Sometimes, there is real peace in routines.

C-man has show and tell every Monday. And just like his 3 year old pre-school and then K4, each week has a letter theme.  When they run out of letters, they move to colors.  (On the 3rd year of this, I'm beyond tired of it.  They're 5 and 6. They know their letters and are spelling and writing words.  Can we please move on?!) And it can't be a toy, which eliminates about everything in C-man's life.  So not only do I have to remember to do this over the weekend and get it in his backpack for Monday morning, I was stuck with letter E this week.  He took the book, "The Cow That Laid an Egg".  Close enough.

People I know are getting their email accounts hacked left and right lately, so it was a good reminder for me to go through and change all my passwords so you don't get an email request to pay my kidnapping ransom to a Nigerian bank account.  Now I can't remember what the heck I've changed half of the passwords to, including one of our bank accounts.  At least it's money that won't get spent now!

C-man continues with Chess Club each Monday. I'm amazed at how excited he is about it and how much he's learned.  I volunteered the previous 2 weeks, and it's really cool how the older kids help the younger kids to learn.

C-man is also signed up for Little League next year.  It's hard to believe he's old enough for honest to goodness Little League.  He'll be on the younger end, since his birthday is March, and the cutoff is the end of April.  But I couldn't bear the thought of enduring one more painful year of rec league coach-pitch.  Now if I could get the kid to field some grounders, life would be good.

I signed up for a cake decorating class ages ago, and it's this weekend. I have to make 2-8" rounds to take with me to decorate.  Hmmm... which flavor should I make?

I've been on the hunt for a good German language program, but can't find anything but Spanish.  Spanish is useful. But I get Spanish. It's German I don't understand.  Plus, it's #5 on the list.

Parent-teacher conferences are next week.  This school year has gone so fast.  C-man's report card was really, really good. I'm so thankful.  It'll still be interesting to get the teachers' perspective on him, though.

Wordless Wednesday: Missing Summer Already

Flashbulb memories

They say that kids remember things in flashbulb memories; those flashes of single moments in time. I contend I still have these as an adult. And one of those times is when my child was just an infant, probably 3 months old. It was late at night, and I was nursing him, as I ALWAYS seemed to be doing round the clock in those days. (The child hasn't gotten this big on air and rainbows!) And I remember his warm, hungry body against me one evening, with his striped legs slung over the crook of my right arm, I was thinking, "He's gotten so big already!"

Little did I know, I hadn't seen "nothin'" yet.

As I've been giving away C-man's old baby clothes to people who need them, there are a few things I have not been able to part with for sentimental reasons.  This little pair of pajamas is one of them.  Because I swear I can still smell his baby breath when I hold it up to my nose.

Transitioning

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. - Hal Borland

Regardless as to what the calendar says, The reds and yellows of Fall have transitioned into the browns and grays of Winter.  Warm summer days have moved into crisp fall breezes that have now become damp, chilling winds.  Hats and mittens and scarves are on their way out of the closets, as a necessity, not a nighttime nice-to-have.

I really mentally struggle in winter, with the cold and grayness of it.  So I find myself bracing for it, like I am seeing an oncoming car careening toward me.  And I hate that.  Because I've used this oncoming funk as an excuse to eat poorly and move little; two things that make me even more off-kilter, cycling back around to more bad habits.

So I need to find my inertia.  Just that one springboard to get me moving toward a more healthful lifestyle again. Because this just isn't working for me.  And since the pain isn't going away, I can't continue to use that as my excuse either.  Sigh... Time to get off my butt.

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On a whole different note, who could believe I now have a 12 year old nephew?  Happy birthday A.Wall. 

And in a total Fail, so much for paying for Amazon's guaranteed delivery date - It looks like your present will get there on Wednesday.

Finding Faith

Faith is a really important part of life. And I don't mean just a faith in God, although that is where many people, including me, find a lot of it.  I also mean having a faith in the goodness in people. Or in the beauty of nature.  Or of the love of others.

But however we find faith, I've decided that we all need to believe in something.  Because an absence of a true belief in something good or better than the current circumstances makes life just too narrow, too abysmal, to do without it.

I can go for days, weeks, months, heck, even years without thinking about the concept of faith and what I really believe in much.  And then, out of nowhere, my eyes are opened to something that challenges and shakes me so deeply, that I need to go back to the foundations of my beliefs and ask if that's really what I still believe.  And if I do, do I have the strength and courage to act on it?

Recently, I've found myself in the middle of one of those times.  And I've realized that the idea of faith hasn't been at the forefront of my mind the way it should have been.  Guess it's time to go back to the basics.

On the fence

It doesn't matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions. -Jim Rohn

Namesake

Yesterday, C-man learned a new prayer in school. They've been talking about guardian angels, and what that means.  Then he was asked to draw someone he knows in heaven.  And he drew his Great-Grandfather, from whom he got his middle name.  He doesn't remember him, as he was a baby when he passed.  But I think we've talked about him a lot, because he chose to draw him as his person.  And he is wearing a blue shirt and red pants because he was a farmer.  That works for me. From what I can tell, the only thing missing is a blaze orange hat.

Kinda tired

It's been one of those weeks in which I'm just trying to keep my head above water. A week where my to-do list seems to be growing faster than I can check things off it.  A week where I'm really pretty glad it's Thursday.

Part of the problem is we've been hacking and coughing all night, so I can barely keep my eyes awake during the day.  (It's also resulted in inventing a new house game out of the nightly horrible cough syrup downing ritual, one that has its own song and ritual of stuffed pet sheep rubbing along with loads of giggles, one that we're going to have to figure out how to transfer into another game once the cough syrup needs to get put away.)  So all that yawning and hacking has been great for my ability to finish a couple of projects at work, not to mention how awesome it is to sit in a meeting with me as I'm potentially losing a lung onto the table.


Another part of the equation is my child's social life far exceeds my ability to keep up.  He has 3 birthday parties to go to in the next 4 weeks; each more elaborate than the last.  The good news is C-man has specific ideas for each of them.  At least they're at the age where they know what each other is in to.  But whatever happened to cake and ice cream in someone's house?  Now we rent out the whole IMAX theater for special showings?  While fun, it's kind of stressful as a parent!

And while the rummage sale is over, the wrap up work seems to have no end.  The chairs have a meeting next week.  And then I'm going to stop returning emails or phone calls on the subject for a while.  A girl's got to have some limits, after all!

But the great news is that it is indeed Thursday.  One more work day, and it's weekend time.  No major events like rummage sales to run or zoo walks to complete.  Just dog park visits, grocery shopping, some laundry, and maybe a movie or 2.  (C-man has a birthday party, of course, but that's just a given.)  So I say, bring it on!

Wordless Wednesday: The sacred old flamingoes

45 days

It feels as if summer just barely ended.  Oh wait, it did!  So why in the heck is everyone getting all revved up about Christmas?  I don't even want to count how many holiday commercials I've seen, how many lists I've been asked for, or how many conversations I've had with people talking about what they're doing for the holidays.  Because I'd then have to ask...

What in the HELL are we doing?!?!

I know it's not the real date, but Christmas for me is about the birth of Christ.  Not Santa.  Not gifts.  Not wine. (Okay, maybe a little wine)  Not stuff.  But Jesus.  And Christmas begins on December 1st with that little-known thing called Advent.  It does not begin in September or October.  And it doesn't even begin in November.  Advent begins on December 1st.  And the whole shebang ends on January 8th with that little-recognized thing, these days, called 3 Kings Day.

And that's something we're working really, really hard on instilling in our child in spite of the Toys R Us and Lego and umpteen other catalogs arriving in our mailbox daily.  In fact, a lot of it is BECAUSE of all those things that we're so focused on trying to make this actually mean something beyond a shameless boosting of the Chinese economy.  And every time someone asks him what Santa is going to bring him, or what he wants for Christmas, or if he's made out his Christmas list yet, when we are still months out from the holiday, it completely undermines all that is good we're trying to teach about Christmas.

Maybe you see it differently.  Maybe Christmas to you is about mistletoe and presents from Santa and eating too much.  That's totally fine for you.  But it's not for us.  So it exhausts me to hear "I have to hit the sales" or "I want to spread out the spending" or the worst of all, "I just want to get it out of the way".  Because, and I say this quite honestly... If spending on or shopping for me is a burden on you, for the love of everything - quit buying me stuff.

Because to me, Christmas is supposed to be about peace and love and joy.  It's about getting together as we do so incredibly rarely as family and friends, to celebrate all that and rejoice in the miracles around us with good thoughts in our heads and happiness in our hearts.  It isn't supposed to be about stuff and one-upping the person next to you with a gift.  It isn't supposed to be about crazy-making around you to get your list done in order to be able to sit back and triumphantly proclaim "I'm already done with my shopping!"  If that's your goal, that's great for you.  Just don't look for me to provide you with a detailed list of what I want months ahead of time.  Because I've decided my standard answer to that from here on out is going to be "A happy holiday."

Whew.

The school rummage sale is over. I can hardly believe it.  It really was a lot of work, especially these past 2 weeks.  But, we pulled in over $15,000 profit for the school after expenses, so I'd say it was totally worth it.  People are already talking about next year, but I've decided to hold off thinking about next year for a bit, because I don't think they'd like my reply in my burned out state.  But it's over, it was a success, and I don't have to volunteer for the rest of the school year on anything unless I feel like it.  Exactly what I'd wanted.

Except I haven't been getting my nails done during this rummage sale, because really, what's the point?  I am, however, making it a point to get my butt there ASAP. Yesterday, I was just too exhausted.  But I look sort of like a field hand.

On Sunday, the weather was perfect for the Jingle Bell Run, C-man was excited to spend time with this grandparents and see animals, and my dad was happy with the several cups of free soup he got.  So all in all, a pretty successful event, even if I did spend all yesterday afternoon (after swimming lessons) on the couch watching bad movies that I secretly love.

Something that's not so successful?  According to the official Nanowrimo website, I should be at 8335 words.  And I'm at zero.  I still really want to do this, and even woke up in the middle of the night the other night with some ideas (guilty conscience?).  So I am going to try really hard at starting up now that the other stuff in my life is over.

I have, however, been pretty good about my 365 project.  So far, since my birthday in May, I've only missed 1 day. Some photos are complete crap, because some days I just don't feel like it, but it has taught me a lot so far, and put me in contact with some great photographers.  So that's something.


And with that, let the week begin. Whoopee.

Jingle Belling

Today was the annual Arthritis Foundation's Jingle Bell Run/Walk at the Milwaukee County Zoo.  Mom and Dad came down to walk it with us this year.

We didn't really walk that far.  We meandered to and fro, buying smushed pennies and moldaramas.

 We saw all sorts of animals, like bears and giraffes and otters and sloths.

 And before going home, took a foot massage break.

All good stuff.  But now, I'm going to pass out from exhaustion.

Quick reset

Yesterday morning, on my way to meet a friend, I jumped out of the car into the freezing cold (not an exaggeration, it was 32 degrees F), ran to the edge of the lake, snapped a few pictures while the crazy wind whipped my hair into a frenzy, and then ran back into my car. The car that may or may not have heat, depending on its mood. (Grrr... This vehicle is such a POS. I had to have the air conditioning replaced last year, and then had to fight with Chrysler to get them to pay for it after they decided to recall it. Now it's the heat that's the problem. Not to mention, I look like a complete dork in it. I am never buying another one of these horrible things again. Never. Ever. Ever.)

But all that's beside the point. The point here is, it was all done in a mad dash.  But I still did it.  I chose to turn my car into the parking lot, parked, and ran out to get photos of the sunrise.  Because it mattered.  Because I needed that brief minute of cold air on my skin and crazy wind in my hair. My photos weren't spectacular.  And that's okay.  Because it was about that quick reset of my brain that was running crazy on a thousand things, none of which I could have done anything about at that moment in time.  And instead, I started laughing once I realized I must have looked like a damn fool out there racing around with my camera.  And one can only imagine how I looked then - laughing by myself with a camera in my hand, running around the lakefront.

Sometimes your soul just needs a moment like that.

Rummaging

It goes without saying that I'm not a rummage sale type person.  I like new things: new unwritten in notebooks; brand new cookwear; new dresses; a crisp, unopened book...

And yet, I got myself into running the school rummage sale this year.  Which despite it killing me this week, has been fine, really.  It's an important event for the school that has a definite time line.  Plus, I am good at planning events and coordinating people and things. 

What I'm not so good at?  Sorting through other peoples' clothes and stuff, putting away old books and magazines, and putting away baby spit-on clothes.  These things exhaust me.  And this past week, I have seen more of peoples' basements and inner lives through their castaway junk than I care to admit.  As Beerman put it one day, "We threw out better stuff in our dumpster this summer than some of these peoples' entire loads!"

But it's gotten me really re-evaluating my castaway life.  Wear that a few times and tire of it? Pitch it.  Buy those shoes and they pinch a bit? Out the door.  Purchase those table linens, and decide you don't really like them. Stow them away, fooling yourself that one day you'll like them.

Now don't get me wrong, this isn't turning me into a rummage sale kind of person.  In fact, more than ever, it's proving I'm not. (Especially when I see one of my co-chairs taking treasures by the armload each day, and all I can do is cringe at the thought of having that stuff in my house!)   But it has gotten me looking at all our "things" and their value bit differently.  And that's a great thing to stop and assess once in a while.

In the meantime, I'll keep washing my hands profusely after sorting through everybody else's stuff, and smile as we count the money we continue to make for the school.

Wordless Wednesday: Comfortable

2 of my favoritist things

I was #71 in the voting line today.  And then I got a latte from my favorite coffee place.  No matter what goes wrong the rest of the day, those 2 things make up for it.

Trick or Treat

All set and ready to go

Wand at the ready, just in case someone wasn't prepared with the right kind of candy. (Peter Pan had his knife too, just in case)

Spooky decor

Nobody makes a fire quite like the village firemen

And after the festivities and black hair washing, it was time to sort and count candy.

And today, I'm back to this. Although this photo was taken before the drop-offs started, and is only half of one room, so imagine it now heaped with piles and piles and piles of filthy crap exciting merchandise waiting to be sorted, priced and sold to a sucker lucky individual.  Only 6 more days to go, and my volunteering is done for the year.  6 more days.

Mistah Pott-ah

Yesterday was the school costume parade.  Since my weekend is crazy-making, I figured this should hold you over until I can get back here to actually write something.

Busy weekend ahead

• I sent C-man off to school in his Harry Potter costume this morning.  Because I had to spray his hair dark, I'm now in the process of trying to get the black off my fingernails.  I'll worry about what ended up on his shirt later.  But he was pretty stinking cute, trooping off to the bus in his robe and tie.
• I have no idea how we're going to get all that hair darkening spray out of his head.  And then we're doing it all over again on Sunday. Oy.
• This weekend is crap merchandise drop-off for the school rummage sale.  I keep reminding myself that this thing pulls in close to $20,000 profit for the school, and it'll all be over in 8 more days.  Just 8 more days of crazy-making to go.
• In the meantime, I've been in some crazy basements, rustling up things like 8' toboggans, Ball jars from the early 1900s and dusty lamp shades for old ladies who need help.  Although I do have to admit, going into some of these North Shore houses is pretty interesting.
• Speaking of that, if you have crap awesome items to drop off, please do at 7600 N Port Washington Rd in Fox Point. 
• I'm putting most of C-man's old clothes in the rummage sale. I just don't know enough people to give these things too, and I've totally run out of space.  To the rummage sale they go.
• I've got someone coming for our old tricycle this weekend.  That's $10 more for the Thailand trip fund.
• C-man is supposed to have swimming lessons this weekend, but I haven't heard from his instructor.  Guess I should call that kid.  He seems to have forgotten about us.
• How is Haliburton at the heart of every horrible investigation?
• I got more juice yesterday with an upped doseage. I can hardly move today. This is getting old.
• You know what else is getting old?  I think I'm getting the foggy chemo brain.  Not like cancer patients, because the doseage I get of this crap is NOTHING compared to what they endure.  But names and facts that are always so simple and at the forefront of my brain, I now have to search for in the deep recesses of my mind. And focusing on anything for longer than 30 minutes is a long-lost dream. Now I know how the ADD kids feel.  And boy, is this really helping out my work performance!
• At some point, I think we're going to buy our Easter break plane tickets this weekend.  That's very exciting stuff. I need something new and fun to look forward to that doesn't involve old, dusty stuff or doctors appointments.

Thursday Thirteen: Things I'm loving right now

I know I've posted other pictures of dragonflies, but I can't help myself. They're too cool to not post.

1. The color blue
2. This guy's photography.
3. Delicious, local, unadulterated with fructose or Chinese honey, honey on Fage yogurt.
4. The OPI Swiss Collection (From A to Z-urich, Just a Little Rosti at This, and Color so Hot it Berns)
5. The book, Going Bovine.  It's a young adult book, but got such great reviews, I couldn't resist.  And I'm so glad I got it. It's sassy and fun.  Plus, it has a cow carrying a garden gnome on the front. How could I resist?
6. My LG front loading washing machine. I know, totally lame. But you know that commercial with the lady who watches it spin? On hectic days, I've actually pulled up a chair to watch the clothes launder. I wish I were lying, but it's the truth.
7. The game Penguin Catapult. Any time you can have penguins dive down and kill angry polar bears, you've got a winner in my opinion. (Yes, I know penguins and polar bears don't live together. It's a game. It's funny.)
8. My Blowfish shoes.  They're so comfy and I get lots of compliments on them too.
9. The last season of the Tudors, since it just came out on DVD.
10. My free coffee card at my favorite coffee shop.  (Okay, I had to buy it, but trust me - I'll make that up in no time at all.)  It makes me feel special to get free coffee.
11. That we're already planning our Easter break. I do love me some vacation. (Easter is incredibly late next year, by the way!)
12. Playing chess with C-man. The child is 5 and has been schooling me on fianchetto and tarrasch defenses.
13. That Beerman is on his way home after several days away.
    

Wordless Wednesday: Longing for a summer canoe

Confusion

The seasons are truly changing. The leaves have turned colors and fallen off their branches.  And yet, a tornado just touched down nearby.  I think Mother Nature is as confused as I am lately.

Blur

I haven't had much to say lately.  No deep thoughts.  No real ponderings.  Mostly, because I've been in the pit of hell, pain-wise.  Which makes it all a bit of a blur.  And here I sit with a million to-dos in my personal life, professional life, and this school rummage sale that can't get over with fast enough.

I'm going to stop complaining now, but wanted to explain the randomness of the posts lately.  Here's to the rain leaving us quickly!
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Funny quote of the weekend - We went to get C-man's hair cut.  At one point, I looked up from my book and noticed she was cutting it pretty darned short.  As we left, I told C-man his hair looked nice, to which he replied, "I had to say "OW!" to get her to stop, because if she kept cutting it, I was going to be bald!"

Recap

"Country club casual" is going out to dinner at a nice restaurant on a Saturday night. No ties, but with coats. Women are usually short skirts, but not always. They all had giant heels though.

One night of beer tasting and standing on 4" heels makes me incredibly indisposed.

While out last night, my kid ended up at a 500 person costumed Halloween party in which he got to roll in candy. How does my 5 year old have a better social life than me?

Harry has taken to singing the whole way to the dogpark. It's not a howl, not a cry, but somewhere in between. It's very funny. Spoiled puppy.

Smiles

Finally Friday

• I'm reading The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson.  It's quite mystical, which I sometimes find hokey, but I'm really loving it.  As in, staying-up-yawning-with-my-eyes-barely-open-but-continuing-to-read-anyhow loving it.
• Today, Beerman is celebrating his 15 year anniversary with his company.  I'm pretty sure I've never done anything for 15 years straight.  (The actual anniversary was in August, but this is the first time his boss has been back in the country long enough to do something.)
• C-man is heading to a friend's house tonight, so Beerman and I are going out.  But we can't go to my favorite hangout, because that's where Beerman's going for his anniversary lunch.  And we go out so rarely, I don't want to waste it on a trendy new place that might be crap.  Where to go?  Where to go?
• Saturday we're going to some swanky country club dinner thing.  And it's not a golf country club, but a tennis one.  Does it get more pretentious than that?  Yes, it does.  The dress is "Country Club Casual".  Can someone please explain what that means?
• I caught my child flexing and sucking his stomach in while shirtless in front of the mirror this morning.  When I asked what he was doing, he told me he was making himself look "like a strong man".  I'm hiding the protein powder and electric razors now, just in case.
• I'm one of the chairs for our upcoming school rummage sale.  We had a meeting last night that went 2 hours. I about died.  Then they wanted to chit-chat after. It gave me flashbacks to working for the Boy Scouts and the volunteers "kicking stones" outside the meetings for hours after. I politely said goodbye and bolted.  They're really, really great co-chairs, who are working their butts off, so I'm not complaining at all there. But there are very few things I can stand doing for 2 hours straight, and meeting about a rummage sale is not one of them... ugh.
• Speaking of that, St. Eugene's School in Fox Point is holding its annual rummage sale on November 6th from 8 - 2.  You know, in case you're a rummager. Or you want to help my son's school.
• November 7th is the annual Jingle Bell Run/Walk.  I'm really hoping after being on my feet all day and shlepping stuff around at the rummage sale, I'll be able to actually walk on the 7th.
• I'm supposed to get more "juice" next Thursday.  Hopefully it'll actually help this time.  After almost 7 months, I'm kind of losing hope.

Moments in time

I take a lot of pictures.  In fact I'm taking pictures every day, whether I feel like it or not because I am doing this 365 project.  And some days just the thought of picking up my camera when I finally remember at 9 pm is exhausting.  But one thing I like about it is it has made me take notice of things around me a little closer.  And specifically, it's made me look at how quickly things change around me that I would normally let pass.

Like this picture.  I was out and about a week ago taking fall photos.  Yesterday I went to take more, because I had been thinking how I could improve on the shots I'd taken- only to find the vast majority of the leaves weren't on the trees anymore.  And the bridge over the ravine I'd been photographing- closed until someone can come up with the $1 million necessary for its repairs.  So those untaken shots will have to wait until next fall.

Sunrises, pink clouds, superman flights, a falling leaf - all things precious in the moment that will never be regained. All things I ignore too often, but am now taking notice of with my camera. And they are all things my child gets tired of me pointing out as we drive home from school.  ("Yes, Mom, the clouds are pink.  Can we talk about my Bakugan now?")  But maybe someday my attention to it will mean he'll better understand how precious each moment is too.

Wordless Wednesday: Flight