June 21, 2016
It's been almost a week since I got those dreaded injections into my lower back, and I'm stunned. Stunned because I'm actually starting to feel better. The pain is not entirely gone, but it's so, so much better. And the relief I feel isn't just in pain, but in the overall anguish. Sitting, moving, doing anything really, isn't something I need to consciously think about. I still do, of course, because it's such a long-held habit. But I don't HAVE to, because it isn't going to cause me deep pain.
The impact it has had on me has been incredible. Not only am I not planning every second of my movement across the course of a day, I'm not worrying about how much energy I'll need to conserve for later on. I'm able to sleep for actual stretches of time and don't feel like a half-drowned cat when I wake up. Breathing doesn't hurt. And I feel like I want to smile - something I haven't felt like doing without forcing it for so long. It's incredible.
I don't know what the future holds. I know I can't continue to have injections the rest of my life. But I do know that this, at least, is a temporary relief. And it also means it is the real problem for my back pain, which helps guide future treatment options. And that, is a true relief.
at 2:48 PM