Clock Watching Musings

When I was out of high school, I had the incredible opportunity to work as an ad inserter at the local small town newspaper. I say "incredible", because in case you're unfamiliar with the position, it incredibly required standing for 8 hours while taking the day's newspaper ads and inserting them inside the newspaper. (Yes, there are machines that do this, but it was cheaper to hire minimum wage than buy and maintain the machine.) Somehow, while still in a full leg brace 5 weeks post-ACL repair, this was supposed to make me more responsible and fully understand the value of the dollar. (Which is an expression I've, to this day, never understood. Because we all understand that the value of the dollar is largely dependent upon foreign markets, commodities, federal reserves, and investor confidence... none of which includes a job that makes less than $6 an hour. And, by the way, I'm still terrible with money. Maybe making me go to a financial class would have made better use of my time.) Anyhow, there was a sign over the clock that said, "This clock will never be stolen, because the inserters are always watching it." And last night, while staring at the clock THE ENTIRE NIGHT, that sign flashed back in front of me. I'd forgotten about it all those years ago. So I began to think about what could be the worst job I've held. It's a tough competition. So in no particular order, these are my worst-job contenders:

• Ad inserter
• Bathroom cleaner in a paper mill (yuk!)
• Forklift driver in a carboard mill working 3 - 11 all summer long while getting CONSTANTLY harassed by horny truck drivers, and when submitting it as an issue, having the HR department tell me "no one else has complained" and being moved to an even shittier location in said carboard mill
• Telemarketer for a university the two semesters after they changed their much popular mascot to a ridiculous bird (although I did always win the incentive prizes when offered)
• Director of Events and Programs at the National Kidney Foundation that reported to the craziest, most mentally unstable woman I've ever met who went so far as to rename herself CEO simply because it sounded more important

While I will never agree that these positions have taught me much other than there are a lot of really crappy jobs in the world that allow you to pay your minimum payments on your credit card bills that you've gone and overextended yourself with because that place is supposed to have the BEST martinis and you have to do SOMETHING to forget what kind of a crap day you've had, they are good for party conversations. After all, who can say they've inserted ads into a newspaper?