Things I learned on vacation

1. When on vacation with Beerman, expect to meet the local authorities at least once.
2. When renting a vehicle in Florida, get the insurance. They're crazy and rear-end happy. If you don't believe me, see #1.
3. Spring break just isn't cool when you're not in college anymore. Woo-hoooo!
4. When away from your child, you miss him terribly. When reunited with him, he wears you out so much you wonder why you didn't spend 3 more days at the beach. But then you remember being a #3 and deal with it.
5. I now know why all the episodes of Cops are filmed in Florida. Let's just leave it at that.
6. When you leave your child with Grandma and Grandpa, expect him to leave them addicted to chocolate milk and apple juice.
7. Chocolate milk stains clothes.
8. For a 2 year old, traveling 40 minutes to an oceanside beach is not better than just digging in the dirt under Grandpa's stairs at the cabin.
9. People in the south decorate with some pretty racist decor. I never did learn why it's acceptable decor, but it is pretty weird.
10. People who win the lottery and go back to work should be forced to give their money back. When I'm away from work, I don't miss it one bit.
11. Leaving items in your shorts pocket while on the beach is a bad idea. The people who comb the beach with their metal detectors are sure to get your watch before you.
12. The Dixie flag just never seems to go out of style in some places.