Quieting down

My brain doesn't quiet down very easily. It's always thinking about 10 things at once.  Lately, it's been up at night crazy too.  Last night, for example, I was convinced that bedbugs were crawling on me.  They weren't.  I know this because I got up to check. Twice. It didn't stop me from KNOWING they were there, though.

I've shared in the past that external noise is often too much for me to take. It's why I like books so much better than TVs, and why movie theaters are sometimes difficult places for me to be.  If you ride in the car with me, more often than not, the radio isn't even on.  (It's also one reason why I HATE talk radio.) Unnecessary noise makes me crazy.

I've always questioned whether it was an undiagnosed sensory disorder.  Or if I was a monk in a former life.  But lately, I've come to the realization that pain is noisy.

I'm an auditory learner.  If you say it, and I'm actually listening to it, I will remember it.  10 years later even. Trust me, people have tested it as a party trick. It's why I pick up languages quickly.  But I've found that the more pain I'm in, the less I seem able to tolerate the sounds around me.  Sometimes Beerman will say something to me 3 times before I realize he's speaking.  And it's not because I don't want to hear it. It's just that some days the pain is so much, I truly feel like I can't process hearing anything above the pain.

I am not sharing this for you to sign up for my pity party, but because this direct link between my noise avoidance and pain is a recent revelation to me.  An "a ha!" if you will.  And an important one, because I think it's going to help me figure out how to manage my own life just a little better.  And every wee bit helps.