April 24, 2013

Tolerating one another


While going through the Hagia Sophia, our Turkish guide (to whom English was a 2nd language) explained to us that the hand gesture Jesus is displaying in this mosaic, and many others of its time, was the early sign one Christian would use to signal to another s/he was Christian. The gesture symbolizes the Holy Trinity, or as the guide explained it, "You know, Father, God, and Holy Sprite". I don't think we'll ever hear the mention of the soda or trinity again without smiling.


I have had a couple of experiences recently in which I've watched extreme opinions collide. And instead of looking for a common ground or civil, peaceful middle, they met like oil and water, spewed their contentious rhetoric, and then separated, seemingly forever. I've been questioning why that is. Are people getting so rigid that they cannot interact with someone different then they are? Is it the spawn of the likes of Fox News and MSNBC that makes people feel more comfortable in their ignorance to one extreme or the other? Is it how people respond to the ideas of everyday terrorism? Is it our lack of education about people and places in the world that makes us fear differences?

The real question is, why are things getting so much more extreme? Why are people more willing to repeat something out of an extremist shock jock (who gets paid to make wild accusations) than think for themselves? Or worse, admit they were wrong? It really worries me. I've always felt like extremes of anything were more alike each other than different, because I find them equally scary. Because any time you're unwilling to bend or listen or take in a new idea, to me, you become incredibly dangerous.

But it also worries me because I am trying to figure out how to teach my own son how to balance an educated opinion with tolerance and understanding. Seeing different religions, and different aspects of those religions, collide while in Turkey was a really great entrance into that topic for us. He asked why the women acted differently or wore different dress. He asked why people think the way they do. And he questioned the basis of our own religion and the role of women in the Catholic church.

All are excellent questions I was proud to begin discussing with him, but were interactions that have left me with more questions than answers when it comes to how I should respond to him as a parent. Maybe because I have my own questions about it, and need to be better educated. Or maybe it is because I need to learn to be more tolerant in areas.

It's something I keep thinking about, and keep coming up with more questions than I have answers for. What I do know is that I feel so incredibly fortunate to have begun having these conversations with my son at such a young age. And while I am sure I didn't need any more convincing of this, it made my convictions even stronger that seeing and knowing and understanding the people in the world is one of the most important gifts a child can receive. Because I think in the end, it's all about education and understanding so we can learn to tolerate each other, likenesses and differences.

Maybe C-man is right. Maybe we don't need a kitchen next year and should just take another trip!

2 comments:

l'empress said...

It comes up all the time. I am convinced that we have primal fears that surface when we meet people who are different from us. (In whatever way.)

We need to teach kids before they get into that mindset, as you are doing. Your son is of a good age to begin, old enough to realize that the differences are there but young enough not to have developed the fear.

(One little girl I knew told her mother about a new friend who was different. She was delighted to explain that this girl looked like chocolate.

We walk the line between cherishing our own traditions and seeing the value in the traditions of others.

I have written a pile of posts on this subject, because I think it's important.

Mary Z said...

I love what you said about it's all being "about education and understanding". Remember the words to the wonderful song in South Pacific, "You've Got to Be Taught". You're doing a great job of teaching with your C-Man! And we always keep learning ourselves, too.