Why did the chicken cross the road?

Our day (after soccer practice) was spent at the local children's museum (not the zoo like I'd promised all week, no thanks to the weather forecasters who's version of "scattered showers in the late afternoon" is my version of "torrential friggin' downpour starting at 8 a.m.") with C-man and his good friend.

After sugaring them up shortly before taking friend home...

... they started to tell jokes. And 4 year olds telling each other jokes is hilarious.

Friend: C-man, why did the chicken cross the kitchen?

C-man: I don't know, why?

Friend: Because he was hungry.

And this is when I learned my son has talent for telling jokes like me:

C-man: Why did the goose swim in the lake?

Friend: To get to the other side?

C-man: Because there was a shark attack!

Beerman decided this is going to be his new favorite joke.

Silliness

This morning, C-man decided to serenade me while in the shower. What makes it funnier is the song he chose is the Veggie Tales theme song. "If you like to talk to tomatoes; If a squash can make you smile; If you like to waltz with potatoes up and down the pro-duce aisle..." It just made me laugh as I conditioned with Yes for Carrots. Add into that the fact that it's supposed to be 80 and beautiful, Beerman is on his way home from Beantown (finally), Harrydog's ear infection is already showing signs of improvement, I have two glorious days off boot camp to recover, and we're heading to the zoo tomorrow, and you'll see why my mood is "happy". ...Broccoli, celerey, gotta be... TGIF!

Runners high, my ass

Everyone talks about that wonderful "runners high". So today at boot camp I expected to feel it, since we ran (okay, I jogged) 1.5 miles on the beach (on the sand that isn't really packed down), and then 3 miles around Lake Park (starting by going up the big, really long hill up to UWM), with 4 stations of jump rope along the way. And at no point did I hit this so-called runners high. I did, however, hit the notable points of "swearing a lot inside my head", "10 creative excuses as to why I shouldn't finish," and "total and complete body numbness". And believe me, none of those were amazing or anything near a "high". I think I'm missing something that makes me like running, because even after the 4.5, I still think running blows. ***************** P.S. Today is Shakespeare's birthday. So enjoy it by talking like a Shakespearean play!

Wordless Wednesday - The great bubble slayer

Bullies and Helicopters

So my kid has started talking down about preschool. Which is really unusual. When I questioned him , he talked specifically about two kids who "always want to fight". Sigh. So the question is - what is the right thing to do? I have no interest in being a helicopter parent that I saw so much of those 3 summers at Boy Scout/Cub Scout camp. Because those kids were major wankers. But my child is 4. And the reason he doesn't want to go to school because he doesn't want to fight. I can't let him get bullied if that's what is happening. After thinking about it for a while, I decided to talk with his teacher to get a better picture of it all. And as she put it, there are three children who are "quite a bit more aggressive with their play than the others". Read - there are 3 kids who are rough as hell. And then she mentioned that C-man's "newfound friends" are those who aren't so aggressive, but collaborative. Which is interesting to me. Because if you've met my child, he's not the silent, pushover type. At all. But apparently he's not into pushing and shoving and verbally taunting others. Which I have to say makes me a little proud. I'm so very glad he's not the mean kid. But it makes me so sad that by 4, that there are already bullies. I am just thankful for now, it's not my kid!

Fighting the demons one day at a time

Today is 40 degrees. (That's about 30 degrees below what it was this weekend). And raining. It's times like these that I have to hold my fiercest battles with my nemesis, Arthur. Because I still had to go to boot camp. In the cold rain. And boy, did I want to stay in bed. But there I was, running in the rain. Laying down doing presses with the cold rain pelting my face. And doing burpees and mountain climbers and pushups with cold soggy gloves and frozen hands. Why on earth would I ever do that, you ask? Well, for starters, last night was another official weigh-in/remeasure/photo night. And I'm officially down 11 pounds. And I've decided I've wallowed in this damn disease long enough. For four years it's kicked my ass. And now I'm kicking it back. 11 pounds, 6 weeks, and I tried on clothes yesterday and while it fits, I'm about 5 pounds away from being a comfortable size 8 again. Plus I think it's funny that it freaks my neighbor Phil out that I come home everyday at 6:45 with a full workout in. As I believe they say in real boot camp - Hooorah!

Apata..huh?

C-man is dino obsessed. And I've come to realize that all those semesters of Latin were a complete waste. What I SHOULD have been taking was Greek, because he is not interested in hearing me stumble when I come to the names. Then again, they actually named a dinosaur Gasosaurus after the petroleum industry? Who are these people? ************* And while I know this is out of focus, I love the blur of colors that is C-man at yesterday's soccer practice. It just captures his spirit about playing.

Ouchie poo

Yesterday's fitness test wrecked me. I can barely move. Add in the fact that it's in the process of dropping about 30 degrees and going to rain, and it's a recipe for a hungover-feeling puffy marshsmallow man. You'd think I'd at least have had the luxury of living it up to feel like this. Sigh... Tomorrow's another official weigh-in/measurement taking time. (anxiously wringing hands)

Scream tour live

Scream

After listening to the horrible opener (I suspect it's Chris Cornell's brother-in-law, because why else would such crap be allowed to go first?), and waiting over an hour with nothing going on (seriously, this is not Lalapalooza. There was nothing to do, it was more than a little self-indulgent and people were getting angry), Chris Cornell appeared at about 10:15.

And holy crap, he didn't stop! I've never considered myself his fan, and certainly not obsessed like Beerman. But he was absolutely AMAZING live. (The video quality is too poor on my crappy-ass cell phone to post any others - I just had to capture the distinctive scream). The only bad thing is that he was still going at 12:30, and Beerman and I looked at each other and said, "We've got to go home and let the babysitter go home!" Well, that, and the fact that Beerman's time zones are a mess, and I'd been up since 4:30.

Despite his demonic looks, Chris Cornell goes into my Jennifer recommends list.

Waiting for Chris Cornell

Opening bands really, really blow

Oh my God, it's Friday!

Looking back to Monday, I wasn't sure this day was ever going to come. But here it finally is. Beerman got home late last night (after successfully going through 2 countries, 4 states, 1 province and 3 time zones in 4 days) and successfully scared the bejeezus out of me at 2:30 a.m. In my sleep-induced delirium, he came into the room, and I was CONVINCED that he was standing in the doorway and peeing on the floor. Based on his reaction to me sitting up in bed and shouting, "Beerman! You're peeing on the floor?!?!", he was convinced that it was really me who was the nutjob. Which is what I realized when he said very carefully, "Are you okay? Do you need something?" But all that aside, it is fabulouso to have him back, even if he is peeing on the bedroom floor in my dreams. ********************* Tonight's our night out to go see Chris Cornell. Beerman has hearted Chris Cornell since his Soundgarden days. I think it'll be interesting to see how he does solo and live. And hell, it's an actual date like grownups do! ********************* On a boot camp update, today was our fitness test. You had to do as many pushups and situps as you could (47 and 100); hold a plank pose for as long as you could (1:45); and run a mile (embarassing 11:02). So here's my problem. I pay attention to the time, and hit that. Which is wrong. The whole point of this is to gauge your level, and I can't do that if I lay down and think, "I'm going to do 100 situps" and then do 100 situps. Somehow, I'm going to have to work through that problem, because I totally could have done more than I did. Have a great weekend!

Craziness

In life there are calm times and there are tumultuous crazy times. And I'm not sure if this falls into the latter category, but I do know that lately things certainly haven't been calm. Work is getting crazy. Well, work has been totally crazy, but when I look into my crystal ball, it looks even crazier. (Seriously, I'm not talking about an actual crystal ball, because THAT would be the real kind of crazy. I'm just picking up from hints and conversations that some major things in my job are going to get up-ended really soon, and I'm not sure how I feel about it all.) And let's be honest - I'm working out like a madwoman at 5:30 every morning. That's friggin' crazy! The good news is that I can hardly believe it, but besides feeling better, I'm finding I just have a whole better outlook on things. I'm starting to feel like my old self again instead of a whiney, pained, exhuasted, chubby shell. (Okay, I'm still whiney) But add in coordinating having to get a babysitter to come at 5 a.m. and organizing our whole lives by myself (remember to take 7 raisins to school, or it's teddy bear day, or return the library book, is it a hot lunch or cold lunch day, how long have those dishes been in the dishwasher?) has added a whole other element of craziness I'm trying not to think about or I'll get really overwhelmed. Anyhow, I'm feeling like things have gotten a bit crazy for me lately. (I mean, the only way I know what state/country my husband is in is by following my blog stats!) And the thing is, I'm not sure they're going to let up anytime soon, so I need to figure out a way to find some calm in all of this. So far, not thinking about it has worked. I'm just not sure how far that's going to take me. Maybe I need a wife.

So funny

So Jen Lancaster asked for people to submit their 80s photos. And for some reason, I haven't been reading many blogs the last couple of weeks. Guess I've been busy. But what a shame! Because when I went back to check up on my reading list, look at what I found!!!! Yes. That's me circa 1987. Go on. Be jealous. You know you are.

Wordless Wednesday - What do you mean I'm not supposed to eat my chocolate bunny before dinner?

Wordless Wednesday

Incredible Shrinking Me!

I'm going to brag a little. If you don't like that, discontinue reading. But it's my blog, so I can write what I want to... I once was a perfect size. Then I got a little older and a little chubbier. So I bought a bigger size. Then I got depressed because of my arthritis diagnosis, slowed down because it hurt like hell to do anything, and got incredibly lazy because pain + more weight made things really sucky so I got even more depressed and inflamed and exhausted. And I was no longer chubby. I was fat. So I had to buy an even BIGGER size. And that depressed me even more. (You get the picture.) This past weekend was Associate shopping days (35% off), so I grabbed a pair of pants in a size lower than the ones I was wearing that were giving me dumpy butt. Of course, I didn't try them on, because I just don't do that. So I put them on today. And they happily they fit with a little extra room, despite being a smaller size. Imagine my pleasure when I got to work, a co-worker who is also very honest looked with me said, "I thought you were going to buy the smaller size." HA! I think I am going to go see if I fit into my old "perfect" size again over lunch.

Back again

I'm back in boot camp again. Only now we're outside. In 39 degree weather. On a Lake Michigan beach. And those waves aren't friendly. Or warm. I don't know what's craziest - that I'm back in boot camp, that I'm doing it outside, or my hard-ass workout is complete and the sun isn't even in the sky. It is undeniably beautiful though. Now if it could only warm up a few degrees, everything would be perfect. But the best news of all? The hour went super fast, and I didn't think I was going to die even once. Maybe all this early morning workout crap is working after all...

A Coleman Easter

Successfully finding the hidden goodies...

Even if it means going to the top of the silo Harry the happy farm dog Some got tired And some crashed on the drive home... still wearing the batting gloves the Easter Bunny brought

Giving new meaning to Easter egg hunt

Yesterday's egg dying eggstravaganza

Look, Mommy, Hulk Hands!

We got up and raced to the Easter Egg Hunt this morning. I dropped them off at the start and went back to park. Just before the hunt started, I realized I didn't have the car key in my pocket. Any of my pockets. So Beerman said, "Let's get the eggs first." So we did.

A total of 8 minutes later, the egg hunt was done, and we were on our way back to the car, failing miserably at finding the keys.

So we called a cab, and Beerman rode home to get our spare set while C-man and I kept setting up his eggs around the car to create our own Easter egg hunts over and over again while we waited. Beerman called a while later only to inform me that he couldn't find that either. Sigh... keep looking. Call the police to see if they've been turned in. Pray to St. Jude to help us find it.

And then I noticed pretty purple hyacinths sticking out of an ugly hill nearby. My little Easter miracle. And I said, "C-man, let's go back to the park and see if we can find these keys again."

After some geese chasing, and more failing at key finding, we trudged back to the van. And lo and behold, in the middle of a random patch of grass I don't even remember walking by, there it was. My car key.

So you can believe whatever you want. But St. Jude is my man.

The Brewers Win. The Brewers Win. Oh My God, The Brewers Win!

Not only was it a fabulous game, but the rotten, self-indulgent, foul-mouthed in front of children Cubs fans had to eat crow the whole way out of the stadium. It couldn't have been a sweeter opening day.

Go Brewers Go!

Whole Numbers and Belt Notches

So I've been "off" bootcamp the past two weeks. And I've been sick for a few of those days. And well, let's face it, I'm not very self-motivated when it comes to punishing my own body. (The way I see it, getting out of bed is enough pain.) So I've worked out some, but DEFINITELY not to the intensity of boot camp. So imagine my surprise when I got dressed yesterday and noticed my pants gave me dumpy butt. I grabbed a belt to pull them up... and then had to cinch it to the last notch available! I was quite pleased with myself. So this morning I excitedly jumped on the scale. And I'm down into another decade of numbers. Woo-hoo! That's 9 unofficial pounds according to my scale. (Official results won't come in again until next Sunday) Apparently it's true that your body drops a bunch of its water when you're not working out ridiculously. I love it. Now I just need to get through the weekend without eating all the ears off C-man's chocolate bunnies and survive the return to boot camp on Monday after being a semi-slacker these past two weeks!

Wordless Wednesday - Thank You Easter Bunny!

Wordless Wednesday

Little boys and sticks

It never ceases to amaze me how entertaining a single stick can be. For hours. It can be a sword, a light saber (in spite of never having seen Star Wars), a digging tool, an arm... any number of countless things. All this from the child who has so many toys, he thinks they're new again after we bring them back out into the light.

Adorable

I just got this sent to me by his teacher. He almost looks angelic!

Hookey

C-man had a fever last night. It broke at some point in the night, but we're staying home just in case he's not all-better. Plus, I feel that whatever it was has found a suitable host with my body, because I'm starting to feel a little woozy. Oh goody.

Satisfying Sunday

We started the day at Sprecher Brewery to get C-man's picture taken with the Easter Bunny. (photo to come later when they email it) We got C-man's photo put on a 12 pack of root beer. He was very excited about it and has been showing everyone. Kind of funny. This is the shot when he was "going home!" because he wasn't really into the tour portion. Then we went to the mall for lunch and I needed to run in to get some Easter basket chocolate. Beerman spent the time with C-man in the play area so he wouldn't know what I was doing. This child goes 100 mph when he is playing. And then it was haircut time. Now, I'm looking to settle in with a good movie. I love Sundays.

Sunny Soccer Saturday

Gooooaaal!

Running around the conesSad because Dad was asked to help the green team and not the blue team... And finally, lunch!

Hints

http://www.wikihow.com/Graciously-Hint-About-a-Gift Remember the purpose of a hint. I really like to take pictures, but it's a shame my camera is so out of date. Make sure the person is listening. Helllloooo? Anybody out there? Drop a hypothetical hint. If I were to get a Nikon SLR camera, how good do you think my pictures would turn out? Drop a historical hint. Remember when we got a new camera just before we went to South Africa and we had such a great time using our new gadget? Wasn't that great? Do your hinting duty. I'm sure that others must enjoy my photography, but I doubt they can fully enjoy it with such an old camera. Remember timing. My birthday is coming up... Hint when you receive a gift. Thanks for all the thoughtful gifts I've ever received, but especially those that involve cameras.

Eggs

As Beerman declared this morning, I have eaten more eggs the past 4 weeks than I have in my entire life. Scrambled eggs. Fried eggs. Omelettes. Egg whites. Whole eggs. With chervil. With Mural spice. With tarragon. With salt and pepper. With hot sauce. It's a super easy way to get in some protein in the morning. And in cases like last night, where Beerman doesn't get home until late and chooses to run through Burger King on the way home, it's a quick, easy, high-protein dinner that requires no thought. So this morning I did a protein shake smoothie instead. And I've got to say, I kind of missed my eggs. I have serious problems.

Rant

Only a day after Karzai agreed to legalized rape, at least he's lightening up and allowing the men to be clean shaven. It's so awesome that we've put this government in power.

Growing pains

The other night C-man looked at me and said, "Mommy, my legs hurt really bad." When I asked where, he pointed to his shins. My child, who just grew so much this past month that his pants are now capris, is going through another growth spurt. And it's one that's bad enough that he's got real growing pains. How is that possible? I remember that pain so vividly myself that I immediately pushed Motrin down his throat and let him have his favorite - some more cheese. ***************While not growing pain-related, this impending weather front is out to get me. I could barely sleep last night due to the my-bones-are-being-crushed feeling, so ended up not working out this morning. Which I know in turn makes things worse, but just couldn't make myself get out of bed. I am creaking like the tin man. I am going to have to do something tonight after work, though, or my return to boot camp is going to be hell.

The village is out to get me

You know that saying, "It takes a village"? Yeah, well, mine is out to get me. Remember the other day when I told you about my property tax screw-up? And how the woman was such a complete jerk about it? Well, fast-forward to this morning. I got up at 5:15, choked down a protein shake, and ran down to the local middle school 2 blocks away to try to work out on the track. Well, that was too wet, so I moved over to the parking lot, since it was super windy and the school was doing a decent job of blocking it. So there I am, doing pop-squats and walking lunges when in the parking lot flies a car with all it's bright lights on. Cop. Ornery cop. Who jumped out of his car, shouting "Why were you trying to get in the school?" I was all, huh? (Remember - I'm working out at 5:45 in the morning in the middle school parking lot, sweating like a pig while it's 40 degrees and windy out, doing pop squats and walking lunges when he came flying in.) He got all ornery that I didn't have ID on me, (Seriously? Pop squats, walking lunges, and sweaty, people!) so just took down my name and address. When I volunteered to run home (the block and a half) to get my ID for him, he must have had enough time to look at me and realize I was legit and not trying to break into a middle school to steal an English textbook. So he told me the school alarm went off, which is why they had to come, and since I was the only one there, it must have been me. (Seriously? Did he not notice the hurricane gust winds?) So I informed him I was the only one around since 5:30, and that it was pretty windy. Okay, I get it. An alarm goes off, cops have to check it out, and I was there. But did he have to be such a short man about it? How about, "An alarm went off, did you try to open the school door? Did you see anyone else who did?" Seriously, I hate this village. I'm fully convinced they're now out to get me for my delinquent $13.83. I'm paid up, damnit! Fine and all!!