May 15, 2008

I Heart John Edwards

I know he's not a presidential candidate anymore, but hearing him speak again last night made me realize how much I'd missed him. Maybe Attorney General?

I'm getting my hair cut later today by another new stylist. This one came recommended, but by someone who has straight hair. I'm always skeptical about that. I really liked my last cut, but the man was so violent with those scissors, I was a bit frightened. Plus, there was no head massage. I'm not paying that much for a haircut without the head massage. So, hopefully this goes well. If not, it grows.

So here's some crappy stuff. I've been hurting a lot lately. I try not to talk about it because it depresses me, and when I say something people either act like I'm making it up or they try to "fix" it. But I'm getting so depressed about how quickly it's sliding downhill, that I figured writing it out wouldn't make it any worse. I have my next rheumatologist visit this summer. And I think I've come to terms with my life of being drug-free as over. The mere thought of sitting down for a 2-hour IV of poison every other week makes me ill. But the obscene lack of sleep I've been getting, piled on top of the fact that I can't even open a damn jar anymore is not doing anyone any good. I think this is what is called leaving the state of denial/anger and moving into depression/acceptance. See, recognizing it means I'm out of denial. Now don't we all feel better?

No comments: