August 2, 2008

Couldn't they just get a job at IKEA like everyone else?

The top 5 reasons I hate ABBA 5. That stupid, stupid name that stands for the names of the band members. Quick - name them! Yeah, didn't think so. And throwing out "Bjorn" doesn't count, because every Swede is named Bjorn. Quick - name any of the Backstreet Boys! Hell - name a Spice Girl! Really quick - name a Beatle! See, thought so. Most people can get a few of even those, but have no clue who's in ABBA. 4. They are Swedish. I don't have anything particularly against the Swedes, but little red houses, IKEA and wood piles don't give me an incredibly great vision of this place either. Then again, there was the Swedish Chef. 3. The awesome sense of fashion, and that they spawned the Spice Girls. Okay, that's really 2 points, but come on, they're really one and the same. 2. Dancing Queen, SOS, Mamma Mia!, Waterloo, Ring Ring, Take A Chance on Me... I'd go on with more titles if there were any other songs people actually knew from 33 years of this band. 1. I was tortured with it over and over and over and over and over and over as a child by my sister until my ears bled. Said sister and cousin would make me go in the dark, moist basement to work the lights which meant running up the stairs and racing down again in the pitch dark and then run the record player and shine the flashlight spotlight on them while they lipsynced sang and danced for freaking hours, always promising that I could be a part of the next song. And if I put the needle in the wrong spot on the record, I'd get taunts and sighs until I managed to place the needle in exactly the right spot in the fricking pitch blackness of our scary basement. I'm still waiting for my turn to sing. I so hate ABBA.

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